Essay Writing Feedback

You're welcome. :-) Of course anything you might read would help. Any news magazines would be... »»

This was just an expository essay topic from the GCE past paper of English language, So I... »»

Nice, but you have a few grammar errors. I assume, based on your comments to others,... »»

Thank you stephen for these advices, i'll try to apply them below: Relationship between military and... »»

thanks for the feedback that helped me alot »»

Ok. Got it. The first third of the first page is your introduction. Talk about... »»

You might also want to examine the definition of justice in a bit more detail in your... »»

lotus: no sensible person can deny that sport will help people keep fit and stay healthy.... »»

Hey thanks a lot, I understand what you are saying, My transitions do need to be more... »»

Diploma holders and the lack of opportunities in Saudi Arabia There is no doubt that higher education... »»

dear EF_Stephen [Moderator]! according to a reading passage in reading ielts i read. 100% children at the... »»

Thank you very much! »»

^ Yup, I am liking it a lot better. I still think you should include, what type... »»

I don't know how long your essay is supposed to be, but it needs to be longer... »»

Hmmmm . . . notice your account has been suspended. I'm guessing you weren't giving useful feedback... »»

Hi, i am preparing for toefl. I think you can try to use more transitional... »»

Thanks Thinh, In the Princeton Review book, the author advices that we should use template for... »»

Thankyou.....I will be posting other essays as well......very soon and I would like to have your comments........ »»

Hi Thinh, I don't know IELST task 1 format, so I cann't help you. Sorry.... »»

This isn't satirical so much as vaguely bigoted. Part of your problem is that you are writing... »»

Life was good, money wasn't ever a problem. There were nice cars, and an even nicer house.... »»

hi tuan, i am not sure about that phrase. some people have talked to me like that;... »»

Thank all of you very much! »»

You need to break what is now your second paragraph into several shorter paragraphs. What is now... »»

syntaxmonster: Conjointly, I think that cheating is not very cool This sentence cracks me up. "Conjointly"... »»

Thank you for advice you know , i am studing in basic institution .... »»

thanks so much EF_Sean. i know that in this essay, i wrote not well. it is a... »»

And... if there are no grades, then people may not bother to do either. You need... »»

Hi there, you have a very well written essay in my opinion! »»

Sean, thank you so much for your advice. I think i understand what you mean. This is... »»

Thanks »»

@EF_Sean：Thanks a lot! I appreciate your advice! »»

Your first paragraph consists entirely of sentence fragments. I'm assuming that your professor asked you to write... »»

Also, there is no excuse for making really obvious spelling mistakes. Run your work through a spellchecker,... »»

This topic cries out for a response that follows a thesis, antithesis, synthesis structure, and in fact... »»

I think there are parts - especially in the middle where sentences are too choppy. Also... »»

Thanks for the feedback. I see your point about the first sentence, in writing it I seem... »»

Read the essay outloud. Its long winded and too much info. »»

I feel like your essay does need some changing. Although its a creative idea - the way... »»

i see, however, personally, i believe that yours will be better if you show that advantages from... »»

khoctham: Happiness plays an important part in our lives and actually it's an abstract concept. That's debatable.... »»

personally i think that yours is good. but i like the second paragraph the most »»

This is a write up of facts about freedom of speech, draped loosely around the overly simplistic... »»

Hi, The followings are some flaw which I can find out: 1. There is no... »»

Good for child development is a good point. »»

Your essay is a bit disorganized at present. Why should those born between 1979 and 1994 have... »»

Hi, Here are some my ideas about your essays: 1. The first sentence of the... »»

I will try and help as much as I can, but I am far from an expert... »»

This doesn't seem like a fair prompt. There is no way you can write enough to give... »»

This seems like the sort of essay where it might help to explicitly define the term "normal... »»

little spelling mistake... »»

Thank you for your feedback. Your advice help me a lot to evaluate my writing skill.... »»

169: People listen to music for different reasons and at different times. Why is music important to... »»

Rosejoker: in my opinion, the fine manager should be shrew in exploiting other people and in communicating.... »»

*Smooch*! I get it now! I can be so dense sometimes. Thank you for... »»

Notoman, This site is awesome! All I can think about is how much better my... »»

dmittedly, there are many good opportunities for who wants to expand their knowledge about other countries' cultures... »»

i am afraid that it is too long for toefl or ielts, then you take these exams,... »»

Thanks for the tips! »»

I agree. I've never been in Vietnam, so your descriptions are helpful in making me feel what... »»