Essay Writing Feedback

thank you very much!! »»

Yes, that's right. The thesis should go right at the end of that short first paragraph you... »»

Like for any big corporation, Wal-Mart often faces lawsuits and accusations; for... Wow, many people would... »»

...That is what Amir is thinking before he commits the sins against his friend... I really... »»

Your first sentence is great!! Ha ha, your cool personality is reflected in your comments before... »»

haha, you are welcome. I'm also new to this forum, registered only 2 days earlier than you.... »»

Ok, but I'm not going to nitpick grammar errors, instead I'll focus on the subject matter.... »»

Thank you so much! I have a test very soon... and it has to be written in... »»

There are lots... Even better would be: Lots of amazing things that are waiting... »»

I think you should tell the reader that your friend enabled you to complete the problems by... »»

How about "camping can take many forms" instead of "definitions?" Camping to one person can... »»

If you want to talk about meandering, use commas: As I meander into the kitchen, I... »»

I particularly enjoyed reading this essay because I myself am a musician and understand where you're coming... »»

Thank you Kevin. I deeply appreciate your modification and advice.The next article, I will try my best... »»

Hi there, I agree with Palek, 1 paragraph is definitely optimal for this type of correspondence.... »»

well okay...I'll revise it again,thanks. I need your help after I do my revision Sean ^^ »»

I'd like to say that, you organize this essay very well and the 1st and 2nd paragraphs... »»

EF_Kevin thank you ! i will try more, and i have have leave... »»

Ah, thank you so much =) »»

...and thoughts by using multiple techniques different ways. It looks like you need one more... »»

In that first sentence, you don't need a comma after the title of the work. Hey,... »»

Wow, nice job. You will do very well, for sure. If you want to make... »»

Nov 1, 09, 09:10am - Attached on merging: Emerson College Sup~title your life Much of... »»

Thanks for your feedback. This essay i m preparing for IELTS exam. cheers Kumar... »»

Oh... Thanks God and all your replies. This is my e-mail, johnnylin24@gmail.com »»

I lived some years in Bethesda, near Washington DC. My neighbor had a very cynical attitude towards... »»

You can use a dash: ...century -- achievements as well as hardships. This is all... »»

This is not really a mistake, but I'll just make a suggestion: From my point of view,... »»

Thanks a lot Kevin! I hope so! »»

I think you should not include the part about your brother in the first paragraph, because it... »»

it is a contrast essay, so your structure is wrong. mention both merits and demerits , besides... »»

kors88: blah blah And that's the problem, right there. Your essay so far is vague and... »»

I think you should read a lot of articles in English. That way, you can learn not... »»

Thank you for your praise. ­I know the language is my largest barrier that prevents me from... »»

tuanlnc have a hard look the reasons cause accidents and should not focus only on using... »»

hardwork »»

Nice logical flow. That's good. In the first sentence--I don't think countries are serviced, but served.... »»

It's better. The idea is clearer this time. Admittedly independent study is more convenient. However, principles, communication... »»

Here is the good way to use a colon: ...lived in three different countries: China, New... »»

Try rereading your essay and fixing some of your spelling mistakes. It looks to me like you... »»

you can use the good dictionary to check grammar errors by yourseft and the option of... »»

@mattsaysfierce- I would certainly hope you turned yours in! I am in your class and I stayed... »»

The whole essay is too short. You just give us a general idea but you want to... »»

Most people would say because the music became popular since it has been used in advertisement business.... »»

Your essay is too shallow. I don't know if you have time to fix it before you... »»

hi Clare Healy, thanks for your comment however, i find that your comment is less useful what... »»

"Even I- a person who has grown up in my generation have trouble comprehending such speech." ^... »»

Thank you!!! how much score can this essay take? out 5? »»

humm!! yeah..... thank you sir... i just realize... »»

how is this? Children It is amazing how two individuals can grow up in the... »»

I am extremely thank you. I will do my best to solve this problem. May I ask... »»

People like Mozart are going to learn music and art whether it is in school or not.... »»

...rests on his shoulders. Great job! Your citations are good, you obviously understand the story... it's... »»

Quite impressive experiences. However I think you should focus more on the process of the... »»

Thanks for your correction and advice. I am bad at English, so i need more practice.... »»

Different from opinion above, I think it's nice to write something little bit emotional. It's rare to... »»

Your point is Okay, though I think you could revise some sentences like: First of all,... »»

thanks EF_Sean i will try to rewrite as soon as possible, have a nice day »»

Noted. Thanks alot. I will try to improve on it. How about the details I have written?... »»

Thanks a lot for givining the feedback..i will rewrite and send it again with keeping all... »»