My teacher told me the essay is good overall, but I have alot of sentences are quite awkwardly structured. Can you help with my grammar, and spelling, as well as my sentence structure, i corrected some already. thanks soo much
Development of Hagar-Lottie Relationship
In Margaret Laurence's novel The Stone Angel, a number of complex human relationships are depicted. One such relationship exists between the protagonist Hagar Shipley and the antagonist, Lottie Drieser Simmons. Hagar and Lottie had a dynamic, relationship moving from hate to a mutual understanding of each other. Their relationship blossoms, following stages of initial hatred, gradual acceptance, competition and ultimately agreement.
Webster's dictionary defines a friendship, as "a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more humans" (merriam-webster/dictionary/friendship). Hagar Shipley and Lottie embark on a friendship that is first portrayed as being animus, rather than as a friendly union. The first stage of their relationship, begins early, when both young ladies encounter a difficult situation that defines their character. Lottie is described as being "light as an eggshell, with pale fine hair," while Hagar is depicted as "tall, sturdy and dark." It appears that Lottie is represented as angelic, whereas Hagar is seen as being "iniquitous." After discovering hatched eggs at the local town dump, the motives of both characters are questioned. Lottie refuses to view the chicks suffer, since she knows how it feels to be put through agony, since she experienced her mother passing away. This occurance highlights Hagar's prideful tactics and selfishness: "I wouldn't touch them with a ten-foot pole" (27). Hagar refers to Lottie's actions as bold, which results in her feeling threatened: "I did not like to think Lottie had more gumption than I, when I knew full well, she did not" (28). Rather than applauding Lottie for her gracious behaviour, Hagar belittles her, revealing her innate jealousy.
Their rival continues on when Hagar attends a dance with Bram, a young man who is looked down on by the community. Lottie attends the formal with Telford Simmons, considerably more successful than Bram and he eventually obtains a higher social status than he does. Hagar and Lottie's relationship is primarily based on competition. Hagar invisions Lottie as being a bibical figure who is more fortunate than herself, causing her to be outraged : " I was furious. I still am, thinking of it, and cannot even wish her soul rest, although God knows that's the last thing Lottie would want, and I can imagine her in heaven this very minute, slyly whispering to the Mother of God that Michael with his flaming sword spoke subtle to Her" (47). Hagar's anger becomes even more dominant, when Lottie refers to Bram as being "comman as dirt." She states Lottie was an impractical girl, in comparison to herself who could be considered irrational: "She was a silly girl. Many girls were silly in those days I was not. Foolish I may have been, but never silly" (48). The irony of this statement is that being silly at a young age is justiable, but foolish behavior denotes ignorance. The first period of Lottie and Hagar's friendship was intital hatred caused by their competivite natures.
Hagar's competitiveness gradually transforms into awareness; she becomes more aware of the differences between Lottie and herself. Both women are no longer engaged in a friendship, yet their fraud and rivarily persists. Even though Lottie and Hagar are no longer friends, Hagar still makes a rude reference to her, regarding Lottie's exhibitionist behaviour: " I never cared about making a show with furniture and bric-a-brac the way Lottie did" (84). Lottie's grudge towards Hagar ignites, especially when she sees Hagar and Bram, but chooses to ignore them, displaying haughty self-importance . Her actions simply derive from her arrogance, considering she was of a higher social class than Hagar: "Walking across the street, danity as a lace handkerchief, Lottie Drieser; who'd married Teleford Simmons from the Bank, looked and looked but certainly didn't wave" (100). Hagar always tends to state Teleford is employed at a bank, each time she mentions him; this illustrates her being envious of Lottie, because she married a classier man.
Hagar and Lottie's differences continue to grow, illustrated in the scene, when they unexpendly meet up while selling eggs. In contrast to Lottie previously crushing the eggs, this event suggests that Lottie no longer sorrowful; by treasuring the eggs it is clearly established that she treasures her life. The act of Hagar selling the eggs to Lottie illustrates that Lottie has won their battle, proving that Hagar was inferior, which is shown by her having to sell the eggs to Lottie: "I don't know what she paid me, nor what words were spoken. I remember only her eyes, the yellow light in them, and the way she took the basket so tenderly as if it mattered to her not to break the frail nestled globes within, as though they were a kind of treasure to her" (51).Their competitve nature continues when Hagar decides to visit Lottie, after she and Bram have divoriced. Hagar attacks Lottie by refering to her as being "overdressed" (135). She shows up fashionable to Lottie's house hoping to look better, but realizes she is "less fashionable" than Lottie: "Lottie was overdressed that day....I wore the black silk dress I'd bought from my father's funeral...Even so, I may have looked less fashionable than Lottie that afternoon..." (136).
After realizing Hagar's son John, and Lottie's daughter, were involved in a relationship together, the rivalry between the women becomes amplified. They appear as opponents, always targeting one another. Hagar becomes angered at John when she finds out he has toppled the stone angel: "Lottie comes here every Sunday to put flowers on Telford's mother's grave, I know for a fact. Do you think I'd have her picking her nose in here and telling everyone" (175)? This shows that Hagar is still concerned with Lottie's feelings towards her. John embarasses Hagar again, after he becomes drunk and beaten in a fight, in front of Lottie and her husband Telford: " Of all people in the world, it had to be Lottie and Telford..."(199). The second stage of their relationship was primarily based on their competitive natures, then slowly turned into a stage of mutual agreement.
Forgiveness is "the act of excusing a mistake or offense" (dictionary.reference.com/browse/forgiveness>). Lottie and Hagar's competition ends when they both realize that they are equal. Hagar went to visit Lottie to discuss their childrens relationship, and about them getting married. Both women are now depicted as fat, worrisome, devious, and cleverly competitive. Even though both women were united not by their personal attraction, but by a common circumstance they both looked for each other for support: " Lottie was the last person I'd have once thought of as an ally, but neither of us had any choice in the matter...Lottie was podgy as a puffball.She looked as though she'd burst or bounce if you tapped her...I was very slim myself , it's true, but I was solid---never that flabby fat that seems to quiver and tremble by itself, unbidden" (211). They end their visit by talking about old memories. Hagar ends up asking Lottie about the incident with the chicks, but Lottie responds she doesn't remember (212). This symbolizes the change in Hagar and Lottie, who no longer see competition with one another as dignified.
Subsequent to John and Arlene dying in the car crash, Hagar goes back to see Lottie to talk about the situation. When she arrives she realized that even though the tension amongst Lottie and herself was over, the delicate bond they established no longer existed: "But whatever flimsy bond had once been there between us, it was broken now. I saw her only for a few mintues. She didn't blame, nor did I, but we had nothing to say to one another. It had been too much for her. She'd taken to her bed, and when I walked in, Telford stumblingly guiding my elbow, I saw only a crumpled peach satin nightdress on a soaked linen pillowcase, and closed eyes" (243). When Arlene and Bram died, Hagar and Lottie's long standing war died with them, allowing them both peace
Margaret Laurence's tragic novel The Stone Angel, follows the many dynmatic relationships amongst Hagar Shipley, her family, and friends.One of the most recognized relationships discussed within the novel, is that of Hagar and Lottie Drieser. Their friendship begins with hatred that gradually grows into a mutual understanding.
Laurence focuses on their damaged relationship that transitions from three major stages: An initial hatred, competitive nature, and gradual acceptance, and a common understanding. Hagar hinders her problems behind her pride, while Lottie competitive behavior obstructs her sorrow. Both women reflect what the other woman wishes they could be. By the time these two women finally realize how much they have in common, it is too late to establish a friendship; the opportunity has already been lost.Good morning :)
In regards to your opening statement, you don't necessarily have to "link" your introduction to your essay. An opening statement is meant to interest your readers, and quotes often do that. You can refer back to this quote later in your essay and explain why you think it is relevant to your essay, but you don't have to do so immediately.
What reference style are you required to use? (MLA, APA, etc.)
"Even though Lottie and Hagar are no longer friends, Hagar still makes a smart..."
Change "smart" to "uncouth", "uncivilized", or "coarse"
"...but chooses to ignore them, since she believes she is too good for them."
"...but chooses to ignore them, displaying haughty self-importance."
"...considering her social status is superior over Hagar."
"...considering she was of a higher social class than Hagar."
"...this represents her envy towards Lottie, due to her marrying a better man than Bram."
"...this illustrates her being envious of Lottie, because she married a classier man."
"This event suggests Lottie is no longer sorrowful, but by her treasuring the eggs, it clearly establishes, she treasures her life. By Hagar selling the eggs to Lottie, it becomes visible that Lottie is triumph in their battle, since Hagar was inferoir, having to sell the eggs to Lottie"
"This event suggests that Lottie no longer sorrowful; by treasuring the eggs it is clearly established that she treasures her life. The act of Hagar selling the eggs to Lottie illustrates that Lottie has won their battle, proving that Hagar was inferior, which is shown by her having to sell the eggs to Lottie."
"...between both women amplifies. They appear as opponents, always targeting one another. Hagar becomes..."
"...between both women becomes amplified; they appear as opponents, always targeting one another. Hagar becomes..."
"This suggest Hagar is still concerned with how Lottie feels towards her."
"This shows that Hagar is still concerned with Lottie's feelings towards her."
"At this point, both woman are depicted as fat, worried about their children, both devious, and cleverly competitive."
"Both women are now depicted as fat, worrisome, devious, and cleverly competitive."
"...for a sense of support..."
..."for support..."
"...established was no longer..."
"...established no longer existed..."
"...sense of peace..."
"...them in peace."
"...Hagar Shipley and are family, as wells as her friends..."
"Hagar Shipley, her family, and friends."
"...could be like."
"...they could be."
"When they finally realize how much in common they have, its too late to establish a friendship they lost."
"By the time these two women finally realize how much they have in common, it is too late to establish a friendship; the opportunity has already been lost."
Keep up the good work!
