PROMPT: "Discuss the themes of gender and race in A Vindication of the Rights of Women and relate them to the text's position in the feminist canon."
FEEDBACK from teacher
-thesis=reasonable attempt→highly unlikely that Wollstonecraft was consciously denouncing anything on the race front
-reword awkward sentences/phrases/words
-race paragraph: get to point faster (foreground ideas marked with a double tick as a topic sentence); off topic
-feminist canon: off topic; needs better main point; address racism in what is deemed "great" by society
MY ESSAY
A Vindication of the Rights of Women, written by Mary Wollstonecraft, is one of the earliest pieces of literature that discusses ideas of feminism and rights of women. In this essay, I will discuss how detected racial motifs connect the importance of education to attain gender equality. Then I will discuss how, after the feminist canon was created in the 1970s, Wollstonecraft's book contributed new standards for the roles of women, specifically the need for education of women as means to achieve gender equality.
Wollstonecraft's argument regarding gender aims to convince her audience that women are in need of equal education to men in order to improve their role in marriage. Education lets women develop reason and virtue and allows women to not have to rely on their physical appearance. Wollstonecraft advocates for women "to acquire the qualities that ennoble a rational being, [that] a rough inelegant husband may shock her taste without destroying her peace of mind" (44). An educated woman can hold more sophisticated conversations and be upfront with her husband, resulting in a more interesting companion. Wollstonecraft believes that without education, a woman's greatest strength is physical and that she is "created to be the toy of man, his rattle, and...must jingle in his ears whenever, dismissing reasons, he chooses to be amused" (45). During Wollstonecraft's time, an uneducated woman's greatest strength was her appearance and her ability to excite a man. As an uneducated woman gets older, her level of physical appearance lowers, which reduces her advantage to excite her husband. After several decades of marriage, the husband may have an affair if his wife is not as attractive and passionate and no longer interests him. If all of a woman's power and appeal comes from sexual excitation rather than intellect, there will be more affairs and weaker marriages. Wollstonecraft deems "a master and mistress of a family ought not to continue to love each other with passion" (42), specifically if passion is the only fuel for the marriage. A woman must have another angle to keep her husband's interest. The education of women creates the opportunity for better female companions and stronger marriages not solely based on physical appearance and passion.
Wollstonecraft associates slavery of black women for labor with slavery of white women in marriage. In Chapter 1 of A Vindication of the Rights of Women, Wollstonecraft describes the relationship between man and woman as oppression, a tyranny, and male domination. Wollstonecraft compares wives to soldiers, and husbands to kings. She explains women are subordinate to men like soldiers are subordinate to generals, as they are taught to obey orders and not to think for themselves. Wollstonecraft writes about "the example of military men, who are, like them, sent into the world before their minds have been stored with knowledge or fortified by principles" (33). The main issue with any type of superiority is that it will become corrupted eventually due to selfishness and lack of morality. Education brings women up to the intelligence level of men, which prevents any feelings of superiority within a marriage. Wollstonecraft believes the best way to avoid corruption in politics and marriages is to provide equal education to women. Equal education results in women gaining reason, which cancels potential corruption due to inequality between men and women. She continues to simply state that "...if [women] be really capable of acting like rational creatures, let them not be treated like slaves" (48). Wollstonecraft agreed with this perspective of slavery representing marriage. She deems this comparison fair and the oppressions being discussed are hauntingly similar. Wollstonecraft considers marriage of white, married, middle class women to be equivalent to bad working conditions and low wages of Black women. Wollstonecraft trusts that women, if given education, and therefore reason, will make rational choices, so they should not be treated as slaves.
Wollstonecraft is commonly deemed as the mother of feminism and her literature is greatly admired and discussed in the feminist canon. Wollstonecraft is known as a persuasive feminist author who persistently advocated equal rights to education for women. After the recognition of the feminist canon in the 1970s, A Vindication of the Rights of Women largely challenged the known views in the feminist canon. Wollstonecraft's opinions expressed new ideas that had not been presented into the feminist canon yet. Wollstonecraft's argument was that "women's role...must change if they are to be men's equals" (46). Wollstonecraft wants to include education in the role of women in order for them to be responsible for their actions. Wollstonecraft built a new foundation of the feminist canon's perspective. Although Wollstonecraft's feminist ideas were considered radical in her time, her work influenced the feminist canon 200 years after she published her work in 1792.
Mary Wollstonecraft's main argument was for the equality of education levels between men and women. Wollstonecraft believes gender equality, specifically regarding education, will support stronger marriages. Wollstonecraft's radical ideals have had a lasting impact on the feminist canon 200 years after her time. In this essay, I have focused on the themes of gender and race within A Vindication of the Rights of Women, with an emphasis on its position in and impact on the feminist canon.
In that first paragraph, I think you can dig a little deeper and add another sentence about the IMPLICATIONS of this:
after the feminist canon was created in the 1970s, Wollstonecraft's book contributed new standards for the roles of women, specifically the need for education of women ...
That sentence above seems to be the most important sentence of the first paragraph. So, what CONCLUSION will you draw? I think you can improve the essay by figuring out what unique message you are sending with this essay. The stuff you mention in the first paragraph is about what Wollstencraft did, but let's end that first paragraph with what YOU say about it.
Again at the end, you seem incomplete because you 'discuss' something but you do not conclude by saying what is the main TRUTH you have discovered. What conclusion do you draw from what you discussed. All you need to do is make a creative and insightful observation about this phenomenon you are discussing. : )
