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Thesis Statement feedback on Helen of The Iliad


bford2012 1 / -  
Oct 4, 2012   #1
Hi guys! I am writing my midterm paper for english on the Iliad and is about why Helen is important to the plot of the story & also what her role was in the Trojan war. I need some feedback on my thesis statement on how I could make it better...

"Helen just about has the entire package from the Iliad including she is the most inspired character in all of literature, has beauty, attitude, and in most of the Trojans eyes, simply means nothing but trouble."

I'm not liking the beginning but i'm not sure how to reword it all? Help would be appreciated :)
selemi 1 / 2  
Oct 14, 2012   #2
How about this?

Helen has just about the entire package from the Iliad including affluence, beauty, and attitude; which to most Trojans simply means nothing but trouble.

I'm not entirely sure what you mean by "the entire package from the Iliad" though.


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