Would you guys mind pointing out grammar mistakes and maybe suggest better wordings and sentences?
I know i am really bad at grammar. sorry.
The bolded part is where I think I messed it up the most. so please take a look at them and if possible, the whole review!
THANKS. i appreciate it.
"The Lord of the Flies" is an allegory of humanity and its evil nature, written shortly after the end of World War II by William Golding in 1945. The main theme of this book is civilization vs. savagery, which represents the conflict between the human's inherent tendency towards savagery and the customs of civilization that restrains it.
During the cold war, a plane full of young British school boys is shot down and crashes onto a deserted tropical island. At first, boys are spread apart and clueless about what to do without any adults. As the boys unite on one spot by following the sound of a conch blown by a boy called piggy, two influential leaders emerge from the group: Ralph and Jack. Despite Jack being the leader of his choir group, later known as "The Hunters", Ralph is elected to become the master leader of the boys. Ralph tries to set order and rules among the boys yet, his attempts become futile as they fail to complete their duties and fear of an unknown beast in the forest take over their gullible minds. Conflicts and tensions arise between Ralph and Jack as they try to settle down the problems. Finally, Jack's group of hunters leave the beach to form their own society with different goals and succeed in luring most of the people in joining them by offering meat. Most of the time, they try to fill their uncontrollable desire for entertainment by hunting. Consequently, the most boys in the island pursue the life of hysterical savagery. At one point, they kill a pig and hang its blood-dripping head on a stick in the forest, known as the "Lord of the Flies", which symbolizes the complete destruction of innocence and civilization. As time progresses, this violent chaos spread as Jack irrationally leads the boys.
Overall, I believe this book contained an intriguing storyline with suspense throughout each chapter. I was drawn in to the story because I became curious about what was going to happen next as the situation on the island became more unpredictable chapter by chapter. The variety of personalities and roles of boys were also few of many factors that made the storyline so interesting. Kids' reckless actions and arguments made me think about what I would do if I was in their position. (<--POSSIBLY BEtter wording for that sentence?) Although the story was clearly told without any distraction, I felt that it became a bit repetitive during the middle, mainly because of the occurrence of the same conflict throughout the book. The setting did not change at all and nor did the conflicts. On the other hand, William Golding's message that maintaining the civilization should be the top priority was well expressed through the constant symbolisms in the story. I agree with the message because during the ancient times, weren't savagery and cruelty so prominent among the human race? It wasn't until the recent eras where civilization greatly reduced those aspects of humans. Also this book was written at the end of World War II, which is probably what inspired William Golding to write this book. I realized the importance of civilization and how it would be if it didn't exist and savagery took over.
This book was a story of reckless boys trying to survive on an island, forming a society of their own when no one had taught them anything. This shows the humans' savagery that lies deep within us and its clashing with rules of civilization. I would suggest this book to people who like survival and adventure stories that reflects on humans and their nature.
THANKS im in gr 9 btw
Great start for a person in 9th grade!
Try to focus on organizing your ideas into paragraphs. What was the assignment? (If you submit the exact words your teacher used, it will help me.)
The Lord of the Flies is an allegory, written by William Golding, **Yes but you don't really discuss the allegory** that portrays humanity and its evil nature. Written shortly after the end of World War II, the novel depicts the opposing themes of savagery and civilization as a conflict between humanity's inherent tendency towards savagery and the customs of civilization that restrain it.
Wow I read Lord of the Flies in 9th grade too, but that was 20 years ago. It freaked me out. I wonder what it would have been like if it had been all girls instead of all boys? The grammar wasn't that bad. Note that a book title is either underlined or in italics--not surrounded by quotation marks. I reworded some areas to make it flow better. I tried to help you maintain the present tense.
thanks for your help..
although I really didn't change mine that much because i realized that it might be plagiarism?
thanks anyways
Yes, I looked at your essay and then at mine and realized that I overcorrected again.
Sorry about that. Did you notice I slipped and used the past tense?
Hopefully, you see how words that say the same thing can be cut out.
Let me offer a sentence critique:
"At one point, they kill a pig and hang its blood-dripping head on a stick in the forest, known as the "Lord of the Flies", which symbolizes the complete destruction of innocence and civilization."
1) I tend to say, "hang from a branch," instead of "hang on a stick." I associate "sticks" and "twigs" together. In this case, a stick seems too little to hang a pighead. Hang a handkerchief on a stick, but a pighead from a branch.
2) Dangling modifier--Is the stick "known as the 'lord of the flies,' " or the pighead, or both? My point is that the term, "lord of the flies," is uttered after the action of hanging the pighead. Right? (If I'm wrong, correct me.) The sentence needs a modifier that shows that one thing follows the other. One way is to use another verb, such as "call it 'lord of the flies.' " Or, put the word "subsequently" somewhere so that it makes sense.
3) I don't know why I didn't like the words, "which symbolizes." It just didn't seem to fit. I felt that the word, "symbol," fit better. I don't think your version was wrong.
Compare to my revision:
"At one point, they kill a pig, hang its blood-dripping head from a branch, and call it "Lord of the Flies," a symbol of the complete destruction of innocence and civilization."
I changed the sentence to reflect the 3 actions taken by the boys.
