Help Needed for MBA

I applied for the MBA program at one of the business school of pakistan, where in admission form there was a requirement that applicant must have to write an essay of at leat one page on a topic "Why i wish to pursue study in MBA", so in order to fullfil this requirment i have written below, plz correct it and help me in amendment.

I did BA in 2005 with major in Economics, Ploitical Science and Islamic Culture, i am trying to switch my career path to Management by obtaining my MBA. The MBA is a powerful tool to help taking charge of my career, but the degree will do me the most good if i have a clear sense of what i want my career path to be and how the degree will further my goals.
XYZ is my top choice, where i can make myself more competative and virtuoso in the field of MBA.

Greetings!

I'll be glad to edit what you have written. I do think you need to be a little more specific about your goals, though. In what ways would you like to be competitve? In what field, more specifically? How do you envision your career and how will the MBA help you with that?

I earned a BA in 2005 with a major in Economics, Political Science and Islamic Culture. I am trying to switch my career path to Management by obtaining my MBA. The MBA is a powerful tool to help take charge of my career, but the degree will do me the most good if i have a clear sense of what I want my career path to be and how the degree will further my goals. [This is true...and the Admissions Committee would probably prefer that you have some idea now of the answers.]
XYZ is my top choice, where i can make myself more competitive and virtuoso in the field of MBA. - MBA is not a field; it's a degree. Will you go into accounting? Financial services? Something else?

Good luck!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com