Five senses - poem

Greetings!

You're welcome, welcome, welcome!! :-))

Is the concrete poem supposed to rhyme in any particular pattern? I ask because your rhyming scheme seems a little inconsistent. Here's what I'd suggest (assuming it does need to rhyme and not in a specific pattern):

This heart is in pain
There is nothing left to gain
Nothing remaining in my world
Except for your name
Nothing more
Nothing Less
How much patience of mine
Must you test?

Good luck!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com

Thank you for editing
i need some words that end in ing describing hate... i founded some but i need some more...Can you please help me out.......
Thank you soo much.....i have done half of my poem but i need more words describing hate ending in ing to finish it ,, After i finish can you please edit that poem for me?
thank you

This is what i got soo far for a diamante poem
Love
Devotion, adoration
admiring, desiring, relishing
valuing, sacrificing, scorning,(need another word ending in ing for hate)
Loathing, despising, burning
detestation,(Need another word word not ending in ing)
Hate

Can you please edit this poem for me..............And try to the 2 words that i got stuck on, thank you

Greetings!

Here are some ideas: revulsing, revolting, abhorring

After detestation, perhaps execration? abominate?

Your middle line makes an abrupt change from positive (valuing) to negative (scorning); was that the idea--to switch suddenly? Or should there be more of a transition?

If you're not using an online thesaurus, I'd highly recommend it! I find it very useful when I can't think of the right word.

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com

Thank you for the words they helped alot.......................I also have to write a contrast poem(a poem with 2 parts. Each part shows a different side of the subject you are writting about)
My teacher example is this:
Shades of blue outside my window, early morning stillness.
Rain drops singing melodies as they glance off the window pane.
Another example he gave:
A child is a howling, pinching, nose-picking BLESSING Trusting, loving, Forgiving

This is what i wrote as my contrast poem:
My breath was incomplete
My heart beat was incomplete
Incomplete was I
But now the moon is full
Complete in the sky
And now with you
Complete am I

I have wrote this but i am wondering is a contrast poem.....Can you please edit it and tell me if this is a contrast poem

Can you also help me on: I also have to create a title page for this poems i was wondering what can my title be for all my poem collections like my teachers example was"Poetry tree"
thanks

Greetings!

I like the poem you have written! As far as I can tell, it is, indeed, a contrast poem. I have a suggestion, though. I think you use "incomplete" too many times. If you can find a different way to say the same thing in the first two lines, I think it will be better. For example:

My breath was shallow
My heart beat faint [or slow, or timid, or muted-- you could put lots of things here]
Incomplete was I
But now the moon is full
Complete in the sky
And now with you
Complete am I

Titles are fun. A lot of your poetry mentions roses or flowers, right? What about something like "A Garden of Poetry" or "Poem Rose Garden"? Robert Louis Stevenson has already taken "A Child's Garden of Verse" but yours could be a sort of allusion to that, without crossing the line of plagiarism.

You've done very well!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com

THANK YOU SARAH.....You have helped me alot throw my poetry unit....I no just saying thanks wont repay all you have done for me but stilll Thank You!!!!!!

I have to choose a theme such as Love, friendship, sports, peace, war etc. And then i have to write a 4 verse poem the that directly relates to the theme. My theme is love this is what i have created can you please edit it and and tell me if it make sense and if it is actually an poem:
The one who my heart
Took for my own
Is blissfully ignorant
The earth and the skies
However, know the truth

We did meet each others eyes
But modesty stood between us
I couldn't express in words
The feeling of my heart
There's now this excitement
Every moment
I must look for him
To him, I must
Pour out my heart
But where is he

The night seems to have blossomed
In the company of the moon
I'm away from him
Although I have met him
Yes, I have seen him
Why there's a twinkle
In my eyes
And a flutter in my heart
If only love would
Awaken in his heart
And bring him here


His the one my heart has
Accepted as my own
There he is blissfully ignorant
However the earth and the sky
Know the truth

I think the poem needs to be a bit smaller and needs some rhyming in it.....Can you please try to do that....Thanks

After i write the four verse poem i need to turn it into a song...Thats why i really need help in rhyming.....I also need to ask you does this poem relate to my theme love? Thanks

Greetings!

Yes, I'd say your poem definitely relates to the theme of love very well! If it didn't have to become a song, it wouldn't necessarily need to rhyme. Because songs almost always have some sort of rhyming scheme, your poem probably should, too.

You already have some instances of rhyming; all you need to do is throw in a few more at regular intervals. I've done a little work on it, though I'm not sure I've improved it any; I liked it your way! See what you can do to finish! :=))

The one who my heart
Took for my own
Is blissfully unaware
The earth and the skies
However, know the truth
I can't tell him, I don't dare.

We did meet each others eyes
But modesty stood between us
I couldn't express in words
The feeling of my heart,
And this excited rush

The night seems to have blossomed
In the company of the moon
Every moment I must look for him
I've got to find him soon

Good work!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com

Because it has to be 4 verse i need to add one more verse...this is what i wrote:
If only love would awaken in his heart
And bring him here
Even for a moment
This madness is driving me restless

Can you please edit it and tell me if it make senses
thanks

Greetings!

Well, it makes sense, but it doesn't rhyme. If it needs to, consider saying something like "this madness is tearing me apart" to rhyme with "heart."

Good job!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com

This is what it say in my assignment to do after we create the poem-Prepare an artistic interpretation of your poem in the form of a song/rap/jingle or any other dramatic/artistc form(be creative as you want; you may want to use background music, rhythimic beats,instruments,props,video,images,etc)

Do you think this poem that we have created is good for any of this.If so can you tell what should i do in details because i am reallly stuck on this part..It a big presentation and i am reallly really stuck!
Thank you!

Greetings!

I think your poem can be used creatively in any way you like. Your instructor has given you some suggestions. If you are not musically inclined, consider making it a visual presentation, perhaps making some pictures which illustrate the poem. If you cannot draw or paint, you could make a collage with images cut from magazines. They don't have to illustrate it literally; just express the feelings the poem evokes. The main thing is just to take your poem beyond the realm of simply being words and allow other art forms to add to it.

It has been said that we create our own reality. If you keep telling yourself that you're "really really stuck" then that is exactly what your reality will be. I really hope you will try saying to yourself instead, "I am a creative person; I can come up with some ideas to artistically interpret my poem!"

Even if you don't believe it at first, try it! I know that this type of positive reinforcement can work! And I also know that you are very creative--I can see it in your writing! Now, think positive thoughts and get to work! I want to know what you come up with! :-))

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com

I want to make a collage but i'm not sure what kind of pictures to put in it.. and what can be my big title at the middle.....And if i do a collage i'm not sure like how to present it to my class.
Can you please help me out
Thank you

Greetings!

I'll give you some ideas of the types of pictures I'd be looking for if I were doing it; you don't have to use these ideas, they are just suggestions. I'm not sure what the final version of your poem turned out to be, but let's say it's similar to this version:

The one who my heart - Any sort of romantic picture...boy and girl holding hands, kissing...anything that implies romance

Took for my own
Is blissfully unaware
The earth and the skies - this one's easy; a sunset and/or stars
However, know the truth
I can't tell him, I don't dare. - maybe a girl holding her finger up to her lips, as if to say, "Shh!"

We did meet each others eyes - A picture of eyes, or two people looking intently at each other
But modesty stood between us - a boy and girl standing apart, looking down, perhaps
I couldn't express in words
The feeling of my heart,
And this excited rush

The night seems to have blossomed - Flowers; a bouquet
In the company of the moon - A picture of the moon would obviously work
Every moment I must look for him
I've got to find him soon - Maybe footprints in the sand on a beach

Really, any romantic photos or drawings that speak to you would work. When you present it to the class, read the poem and describe why you chose those pictures. As for a title, how about "Moon Blossoms" or "Night Blossoms" or "Love's Secret" or...you get the idea--let your poem inspire you!

Have fun with it!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com

I want to do my collage just like you said...but i'm not sure like how to present it to the class.i mean i know first i have to read the poem aloud but i'm not sure like how can i start of my presentation of the collage after i read the poem...can you please help me out..Thanks

I also want to know like where can i put the pictures in the collage. like i want to include everything you said but i dont no how to put what where..can you please help me out...Thanks

Greetings!

That's a bit of a challenge for me, since I can't look at your pictures! For me, one great thing about collages is that they have no formal structure. You can put the pictures in any design you like, or no design; overlap them, or keep them apart; add words or not. That might be an idea...cutting out some of the words from your poem (by cutting words or letter from magazines, or just printing them in colorful fonts with your printer) and tossing them wherever you think they look good on the collage...or on a picture the word represents, like "moonlight" if you have a picture of the moon.

Another idea would be to have the words cut out, but don't put them on the collage...hand them to members of the class as you read the poem. You could pause slightly between lines when you're reading the poem and as you say, for instance, "the earth and the skies," hand each of those words to someone (with a smile ;-))

That's just an idea that popped in my head; if it makes you uncomfortable, don't do it, but it would be a chance to make your presentation more "participatory" for the audience.

Get your pictures and words together for your collage and play around with them before you start gluing them onto the poster board or whatever you are going to use as the background. Try different ways of doing it til it looks right to you, and remember: there's no "right" and "wrong" to this--it's your artistic vision!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com

Thnak you for helping me soo much

Sarah i really liked the idea you told me about making the presentation more participatory.But i didn't really understand what you said.. Can you please explain that to me in more details please....

Greetings!

Yes, here's what I was picturing. You're standing, presumably, at the front of the classroom. You are holding your collage, but have some pictures, and/or cut-out words on a table or desk next to you where you can reach them. You start to read your poem:

The one who my heart
Took for my own
Is blissfully unaware
The earth... [you pick up a picture of the earth, or the word "Earth", and hand it to a nearby student/audience member]
and the skies [same thing with a photo of the sky]
However, know the truth
I can't tell him, I don't dare. [here's where, if you are feeling really brave, you walk up to a cute guy and say this line in front of him ;-))]
[then, you go back to the table and get the next picture]
We did meet each others eyes - [Hand someone else a picture of eyes....maybe two eyes, one at a time... ]
But modesty stood between us [turn your back on the class for a moment or two...]
I couldn't express in words [turn back around and pick up a handful of the cut-out words...]
The feeling of my heart,
And this excited rush [smile, and toss the words up in the air and let them flutter down...you can pick them up after they finish applauding ;-))]

That's how I'd do it, but then, I enjoy acting. If you're too shy for all that, modify it in a way that is comfortable for you. :-))

Have fun with it!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com

I need help with writing a contrast poem

Greetings!

If those were the only instructions given, "write a contrast poem," then you've got a wide-open field to play in! Anything can have two sides to it--you just have to look for them. This assignment, for example:

Searching for words that do not come
Anxiety creeps in, blackness surrounds my thoughts
Thinking, grasping, typing, deleting
A chore that mocks me as it beckons
Yet tempts with possibilities
As words begin to flow
Washing away the clouds of despair
An idea germinates, grows
And blooms

There are examples above, too, where the contrast relates all to one word in a string of descriptors. Play around with it and see what you come up with!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com