paula cuartas
Member
Posts: 1 Joined: May 18, 08
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I had to write a poem about an incident that has occurred in the devils arithmetic basycly about the holocaust had to be 3 stanzas ; one simile ; one metaphor ; & 5 sense highlited please tell me if this is goodd thank you so much .
I thought it wasn't real But as soon as I closed my eyes Everything seemed so real No stopping once it begun A story of a girl I didn't know
But it was still me Cheya I could feel her hunger For faith, courage, hope If only if they would believe me That they were digging there own graves
Knowing I couldn't help them was the worse So I stopped and thought Maybe if I blinked twice It will all become reality Thinking if I glanced it all remained the same
As I start seeing what I once heard of From someone I can't mesmerize A camp where men and women Kids and the old showed there arms And numbers etched in blue
Sufferings I heard they been through That I would soon go through To understand and appreciate And get out of this nightmare I know I had to go through
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EF_Team5
Moderator
Posts: 1334 Joined: Apr 22, 08
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Good morning!
You have a very powerful poem here; it is very descriptive and emotional. A lot of unexpressed fear comes through your stanzas. I'm not really sure if the stanzas meet your instructor's requirements though; I believe you have captured the five senses adequately, but I do not see the simile or metaphor component that you specify is required. A simile is comparing two things using "like" or "as", and a metaphor is symbolically replacing one item with another unlike item. So, you could use the simile in stanza 3; "Knowing I couldn't help them was worse/Like being a helpless bystander/So I stopped and thought...". Then you could use the metaphor in stanza 5; "Sufferings I heard they had been through/That I would soon go through/Understanding and appreciation a murky puddle about to become crystal/To get out of this nightmare...". Or, you could rewrite and spend one entire stanza on the simile, and another entire stanza on the metaphor; whichever you find more appropriate.
Good work!
Regards, Gloria Moderator, EssayForum.com
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