Personal Response Essay On Lee Fong Gwo Case

Well this is a personal response essay about whether I agree or not agree that Lee Fong Gwo should be paid for his part on "Return of Innocence".

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-please help to check my sentences, introduction paragraph, body paragraph, concluding paragraph ( including thesis statement, source citation, supporting details)
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According to National Public Radio, for a singer of traditional music, having your voice on a hit record does not make you any money. Lee Fong Gwo, a Taiwanese rice farmer and a singer of traditional music. His performance was recorded and later sold by the French Ministry of Culture to a group of German pop musicians, Enigma. Lee Fong Gwo did not get any payment although his voice has been used in the song "Return of Innocence" recorded by the Enigma. ( Lee and Gundersen) I definitely disagree with this and I think Lee Fong Gwo should be paid for his part on song "Return of Innocence".

Well, it's not right if someone use other's work without knowledge of the owner. In the Lee Fong Gwo case, he only gets to know that Enigma used his voice in their song when he was 74. His granddaughter brought a tape home and played the song for him. He was very surprised but at the same time, he was happy because someone else used his voice in their song. Although he is not upset, but what the Enigma did was still immoral and cannot be accepted.

Furthermore, Lee Fong Gwo was mistreated and left behind by the Enigma and the French Ministry of Culture. The Enigma bought the Lee Fong Gwo's record from the French Ministry of Culture for $6000. The Enigma assumed that by buying it from the French Ministry of Culture, they got the complete rights to use Lee Fong Gwo's voice. The problem is, the Ami singer only agreed that their performance recorded and published in France for academic research. Moreover, nobody asked the permission from Lee Fong Gwo to use his voice in the Enigma's song.

In brief, Lee Fong Gwo should be paid and credited for his part on the song "Return of Innocence". The Ami do believe that the music belongs to Lee Fong Gwo. Since he is one of the oldest members of the tribe, they believe he is the music. Hence, there should be an action taken to help Lee Fong Gwo gains his rights, and get what he should to.

Good afternoon.

Here are my suggestions:

"According to National Public Radio, for a singer of traditional music, having your voice on a hit record does not make you any money. Citation? Lee Fong Gwo is a Taiwanese rice farmer and a singer of traditional music. His performance was recorded and later sold by the French Ministry of Culture to a group of German pop musicians, Enigma. Lee Fong Gwo did not get any payment although his voice has been used in the song "Return of Innocence" recorded by the Enigma. (Lee and Gundersen Page number or date?) I definitely disagree with this and I think Lee Fong Gwo should be paid for his part on song "Return of Innocence."

Well, it is not right if someone uses other's work without knowledge of the owner. In the Lee Fong Gwo case, he only got to know that Enigma used his voice in their song when he was 74. His granddaughter brought a tape home and played the song for him. He was very surprised but at the same time (Remove comma) he was happy because someone else used his voice in their song. Although he is not upset, what Enigma did was still immoral and cannot be accepted.

Furthermore, Lee Fong Gwo was mistreated and left behind by Enigma and the French Ministry of Culture. Enigma bought the Lee Fong Gwo record from the French Ministry of Culture for $6,000. Enigma assumed that by buying it from the French Ministry of Culture (Remove comma) they got the complete rights to use Lee Fong Gwo's voice. The problem is, the Ami I(You should put in a statement explaining who/what this is for those that may not be familiar with it/he/she/them.) singer only agreed that their performance recorded and published in France could be used for academic research. Moreover, nobody asked the permission from Lee Fong Gwo to use his voice in the Enigma song.

In brief, Lee Fong Gwo should be paid and credited for his part on the song "Return of Innocence." The Ami do believe that the music belongs to Lee Fong Gwo. Since he is one of the oldest members of the tribe, they believe he is the music. Hence, there should be an action taken to help Lee Fong Gwo gains his rights (Remove comma) and get what he is entitled to."

Good job. You state your opinion right off and give good reasons why you believe that. You have some research to help you, which strengthens your position. A few mechanical errors, but overall a good start.

Regards,
Gloria
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