Research Essay about volcano experiment

can you take a look at my essay and see if there are any grammatical errors and also I'm a 7th grader and this is my first research essay. So if you have any advice on what to change and correct that would be wonderful.

Thanks! : )

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Rough Draft

Did you know Mt. St. Helens' eruption caused a $1.5 billion worth of damage
after just 9 hours? Was it the base of the volcano that affected the eruption rate?
To find out, there will need to be research and an experiment done on volcanoes.
The research should include information on how the Earth forms a volcano and the cause of an eruption once it is made. What comes out of a volcano when it does and when it does not erupt? What kinds of volcanoes are there? Lastly, what the three benefits and drawbacks are of a volcano. Specific information about the experimental question and the results of previous experiments is also in the research. The experiment will be a small scale model volcano that replaces the base with baking soda and the volcanic acid with vinegar. The hypothesis for the experiment is if you increase the amount of baking soda, then the volcano's eruption time would decrease because gassy lava moves faster.
For the background research on the experiment, the first piece of information to know is how volcanoes form and erupt. The two types of plate movements that make volcanoes are called "convergent" and "divergent" plate movement. Divergent movement causes the crust under the sea to spread out and have magma rise up to make chain of submarine volcanoes under ground. Convergent causes two plate tectonics to slowly collide to form a mountain. The way volcanoes erupt is when enough rocks are melted so the pressure of the gas forces the magma (liquid rock underneath the surface) to reach the vent of the volcano to become lava (liquid rock above of on the surface.)
For the background research on the experiment, the second piece of information to know is the materials that come out of the volcano when it is or is not erupting. When it is not erupting, basically, lahars or debris, and volcanic ash comes out. The chemicals that also come out are water vapor, carbon dioxide sulfur dioxide hydrogen sulfide, hydrogen chloride, and hydrogen fluoride. When the volcano is erupting, heat escapes, lava (magma on the surface of the earth), molten rock, rock fragments, hot gases, Tephra (magma particles such as ash that can be house size boulders), steam, and debris.
For the background research on the experiment, the third piece of information to know is the different kinds of volcanoes and three benefits plus drawbacks of a volcano. The diverse kinds of volcanoes are the cinder cone, caldera, composite, shield, submarine, and lava dome volcano. Three benefits of every volcano is after each eruption, valuable mineral deposits' appear, fertile soils are made, and the lava flows can create new land such as Hawaii. Three drawbacks of every volcano is the lava ignites starting fires, the material that comes from the volcano destroys plants, and the volcano releases harmful, poisonous, and polluting gases into the air.
For the background research on the experiment, the fourth piece of information to know is there was some specific information found. It follows the experimental question on how the amount of vinegar equals to the amount of acid in a volcano and the amount of baking soda equals to the base of a volcano. There were a couple of reactions looked up during the research on similar experiments done in the past with a scale model. The reactions indicate the volcano model fizzes, pops, and crackles at first. Then the model erupts and fizzes over the sides with a recording of 19 seconds of eruption. The amount of tablespoons the team put in was not available.
Did you know Mt. St. Helens' eruption caused a $1.5 billion worth of damage after just 9 hours? Was it the base of the volcano that affected the eruption rate? To find out, there will need to be research and an experiment done on volcanoes. The research should include information on how the Earth forms a volcano and the cause of an eruption once it is made. What comes out of a volcano when it does and when it does not erupt? What kinds of volcanoes are there? Lastly, what the three benefits and drawbacks are of a volcano. Specific information about the experimental question and the results of previous experiments is also in the research. The hypothesis for the experiment is if you increase the amount of baking soda, then the volcano's eruption time would decrease because gassy lava moves faster.

Good evening!

This is a very well researched and organized essay! Very good work! Here are my suggestions:

"...caused a (Remove this because it is unnecessary) $1.5 billion..."

"...and the cause (Change this to "causes") of..."

"...what the three benefits and drawbacks are of a volcano..."
This sounds a little weird; how about changing it to something like, "Lastly, what are three benefits and drawbacks of a volcano?"

"...is also in the research..."
How about "...should also be in the research..."?

"...the way volcanoes erupt is when..."
How about changing this to something like "Volcanoes erupt when..."; start the sentence with "Volcanoes".

"For the background research on the experiment, the second piece of information to know is (Insert "what are" instead of "is".) the materials that come out of the volcano when it is or is not erupting. When it is not erupting, basically, lahars or debris, and volcanic ash comes out. The chemicals that also come out are water vapor, carbon dioxide (Insert a comma here because you are making a list.) sulfur dioxide (Insert a comma here because you are making a list.) hydrogen sulfide, hydrogen chloride, and hydrogen fluoride. When the volcano is erupting (Change to "erupts") , heat escapes, lava (magma on the surface of the earth), [(You can remove this information in parenthesis because you have already told us this earlier in your essay.) molten rock, rock fragments, hot gases, Tephra (magma particles such as ash that can be house size boulders), steam, and debris.
For the background research on the experiment, the third piece of information to know is the different kinds of volcanoes and three benefits plus drawbacks of a volcano. The diverse kinds of volcanoes are the cinder cone, caldera, composite, shield, submarine, and lava dome volcano. Three benefits of every volcano is (Change this to "are".) after each eruption, valuable mineral deposits' appear, fertile soils are made, and the lava flows can create new land such as Hawaii. Three drawbacks of every volcano is (Change this to "are") the lava ignites starting fires, the material that comes from the volcano destroys plants, and the volcano releases harmful, poisonous, and polluting gases into the air." You might also consider making each of the three pros and cons a list. For example something like, "The first drawback of a volcano is..." or "The second benefit from a volcano is..."

For the background research on the experiment, the fourth piece of information to know is (Insert "that") there was some specific information found. It follows (Instead of using "follows", you could use "showed" or "illustrated"; these words are more appropriate based on what you are trying to say.) the experimental question on how the amount of vinegar equals to the amount of acid in a volcano and the amount of baking soda equals to the base of a volcano. This last statement could be clarified a little bit also; I believe you are trying to relate how the baking soda/vinegar experiment mimicked real life. If this is the case, go ahead and say so. "The experiment imitated real life by...") There were a couple of reactions looked up during the research on similar experiments done in the past with a scale model. The reactions indicate the volcano model fizzes, pops, and crackles at first. Then the model erupts and fizzes over the sides with a recording of 19 seconds of eruption. The amount of tablespoons the team put in was not available. (You could state here where you found this information; the title of the book, article, or newspaper)


Did you know Mt. St. Helens' eruption caused a $1.5 billion worth of damage after just 9 hours? Was it the base of the volcano that affected the eruption rate? To find out, there will need to be research and an experiment done on volcanoes. The research should include information on how the Earth forms a volcano and the cause of an eruption once it is made. What comes out of a volcano when it does and when it does not erupt? What kinds of volcanoes are there? Lastly, what the three benefits and drawbacks are of a volcano. Specific information about the experimental question and the results of previous experiments is also in the research. The hypothesis for the experiment is if you increase the amount of baking soda, then the volcano's eruption time would decrease because gassy lava moves faster. (This seems to be the same paragraph as your introduction; if so, go ahead and remove the whole thing. Try to come up with something that ties in the results of the experiment with what happens in real life. Do not introduce any new information here, just re-tell us what you already told us.)

I hope my suggestions help you!
Keep up the good work!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com