Personal Statement

looking for help in writing a statement about applying for Development studies, please help.
The question is: What are your reasons for applying for the course you wish to study?

Help please....

Greetings!

I'm not clear about the meaning of "Development studies," so maybe that's a good place to start!

If I were to ask you to explain this field to me, you would tell me all the things you think are important to know in order for me to understand. This makes you think about the most crucial elements in the field, and the areas you find most interesting. These are the things you want to talk about in your essay.

You don't need to explain developmental studies to the Admissions committee, of course, but you do need to state your goals for study and the things about which you are most enthusiastic. They want to know why they should choose YOU as a student in their program, and you need to provide them with some good reasons.

If you have special accomplishments in this area, let them know. Emphasize the elements of your character that will contribute to the program (maybe you are a very hard worker, or have particular knowledge in some areas, or have exceptional leadership abilities--anything that can be seen as an asset to the program and the school). You want to strike a balance between undue modesty and bragadoccio. If you are too modest, they won't see you as having anything to contribute to the school. If you brag too much, they may not believe you or want to work with you. Be honest, but let them know all your positive qualities.

The specific question asked is WHY you want to be in this course of study. There was obviously something about this program that you found attractive, or else you wouldn't have applied. Tell them what that was. Let them know that they are offering something special and valuable to you, and how you plan to take advantage of this opportunity.

I hope this gives you some idea of how to frame your essay. If you would like to post it after it is written, we'll be happy to look it over for you.

Best of luck!

Sarah, EssayForum.com

thank you for your comments and suggestions...

I will post it as soon as it is done, and will have your feedbacks again.

thanks

You're welcome! I'll be looking for it!
Sarah

Hi,

Here is the brief of my statement of purpose:

What are your reasons for applying for the course you wish to study?

The fact that Tajikistan is going through a transition with massive policy and practice reformation challenges ahead, I feel my country needs trained human resources in the domain of development management. After learning new methodologies and ways of problem solving, I would like to work with NGO's in Tajikistan. The very fact that I'm national with an opportunity to study abroad I would be much better placed to advise on development actions by blending modern approaches with those that would work in our context. The program in Britain, bears special importance for me at this stage of my career. In that regard, I want to learn, and understand and get more experience of develoment studies/management.

please take a look and send your suggestions/feedback, please.

addition, this comes as a first paragraph....

I confidently knew education was outrageously important at that time and was striving to get access to education that would enable me to do what I want for the rest of my time. From the very beginning I knew I wanted to study in the area of development, but this field of study is non-existent in Tajikistan. Therefore I joined the foreign language faculty of English, which the only option I had and which would help me to continue my further studies beyond Tajikistan. After graduation I gained valuable experience in administration and management working with different NGO's. From these positions I have seen firsthand how our society is struggling to create a brighter future. Taking the significant step of applying for a Masters in Development Studies, will not only add to my personal development but also open up avenues for my career..

Greetings!

Your essay states your reasons for applying to the program clearly. I understand now what Development Studies are!

I'm happy to help you with the proofreading. I didn't find much that needs to be changed, but there were a few things, starting with your first post:

"The fact that Tajikistan is going through a transition with massive policy and practice reformation challenges ahead, I feel my country needs trained human resources in the domain of development management."

To make this more idiomatically correct, I suggest taking out the comma and replacing it like this: ". . . challenges ahead leads me to feel that my country . . . "

"The very fact that I'm national with an opportunity to study abroad I would be much better placed to advise on development actions by blending modern approaches with those that would work in our context."

You need to insert the article "a" before "national", since you're using it as a noun. I also would also insert "means that" before "I would be" to make the meaning of the sentence more clear.

"The program in Britain, bears special importance for me at this stage of my career."

Take out the comma.

"In that regard, I want to learn, and understand and get more experience of develoment studies/management."

I would begin the sentence like this: "In that regard, I want to learn, understand and get more . . . " Also, "development" seems to have lost its "p." :-)

I hope these suggestions help. I will look at the second paragraph in a separate post.

Sarah, EssayForum.com

Greetings, again!

Let's get to that second post:

"I confidently knew education was outrageously important at that time and was striving to get access to education that would enable me to do what I want for the rest of my time."

Does this paragraph refer to something you've said before? You say "at that time", but I'm not sure which time you mean. As for the sentence itself, it would be better to start it with, "I was confident that education was crucial . . . " "Outrageously" has connotations of something wild, and I don't think that's quite what you meant. Also, in this case it would be better to say "rest of my life" rather than "rest of my time." (You could also say "the rest of my professional life" if that is closer to what you mean.)

"Therefore I joined the foreign language faculty of English, which the only option I had and which would help me to continue my further studies beyond Tajikistan."

"English faculty" would be better than "faculty of English." Also, insert "was": ". . . which was the only option . . . "

"From these positions I have seen firsthand how our society is struggling to create a brighter future."

I'm not sure what you mean by "these positions." Are you referring to your time in the foreign language department? Perhaps you could make this more clear.

"Taking the significant step of applying for a Masters in Development Studies, will not only add to my personal development but also open up avenues for my career.."

You don't need the comma.

Your English is excellent. It is a very difficult language to learn, full of idioms and tricky rules (all of which have exceptions), and I congratulate you on your fluency! Believe me, plenty of native English-speakers don't write nearly as well as you do!

Best of luck in your studies. I hope you get in to the university of your dreams!

Sarah, EssayForum.com

thank you very much for your feedback..

bests,
Muhiddin

You're very welcome!

Sarah