"My mother's diagnosis" - admission essay --Vires

For almost one hundred years, the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University. Vires signifies strength of all kinds - moral, physical, and intellectual; Artes alludes to the beauty of intellectual pursuits as exemplified in skill, craft, or art; and Mores refers to character, custom, or tradition. Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life.


The Florida State University motto "Vires, Artes, Mores" focuses on strength, the arts, and tradition. Each of these values are reflected in my life. But none so much as the virtue "Vires", which exemplifies moral, intellectual, and physical strength. The strength I was required to embody was never more apparent than when my mother was diagnosed with stage three breast cancer.

Promptly after my mother's diagnosis I realized I had a few choices to make. I could either live in the past, dwelling on life prior to the diagnosis and stay angry at what my life had become; I could live in the future, obsessing over the possibility of losing my mother; or I could accept the changes in my life and live in the moment. Being the strong young woman I had to be, I chose the latter. I knew I could not allow the fears that accompanied this life alteration make me weak. Through this new challenge I needed to be stronger than ever, not only for myself but for my mother too.

It is a humbling experience to watch your mother lying in a hospital bed with multiple tubes connected to her body; her life in the hands of doctors and of God. The religious values instilled in me as a young girl were now put to the test. I could not let outside influences splinter my foundation of moral and ethical strength. I lacked the ability to change what had happened to my mother, so I laid it down at God's feet, giving him full control. If it were not for the faith and the strength I had in God I could not have gotten through this dark time, turning what appeared as a curse in to a blessing.

Not only did it require moral strength during my mother's cancer treatment, but intellectual tenacity as well. I had the ability to use her cancer as a crutch for slacking in school. To use the excuse that the stress of having a mother whose survival was not guaranteed was the reason why my academic life had deflated. But I would not. If anything, her determination to survive gave me the determination to succeed in school. I continued challenging myself in honors and advance placements classes, excelling in all of them. During her treatment I got inducted in to the National Honor Society. Instead of using my mother's cancer as a pardon, I used it as a catapult for success.

Although having a mother suffer from cancer can be a frightening experience, I did not allow it to hinder my success in life. I possessed the moral and intellectual strength required to venture through such a difficult time. My experience taught me that I must never give up and never let any problem I encounter hinder my opportunities in life. When accepted to Florida State University, I will continue to work hard and never allow the obstacles of this new chapter in life stop my success as a Florida State Seminole.

Good evening.

Here are my suggestions:

"The Florida State University motto "Vires, Artes, Mores" focuses on strength, the arts, and tradition. Each of these values are reflected in my life. But none so much as the virtue "Vires", which exemplifies moral, intellectual, and physical strength. The strength I was required to embody was never more apparent than when my mother was diagnosed with stage three breast cancer. Good opening.

Promptly after my mother's diagnosis I realized I had a few choices to make. I could either live in the past, dwelling on life prior to the diagnosis and stay angry at what my life had become; I could live in the future, obsessing over the possibility of losing my mother; or I could accept the changes in my life and live in the moment. Being the strong young woman I had to be, I chose the latter. I knew I could not allow the fears that accompanied this life alteration make me weak. Through this new challenge I needed to be stronger than ever, not only for myself but for my mother too.

It is a humbling experience to watch your mother lying in a hospital bed with multiple tubes connected to her body; her life in the hands of doctors and of God. The religious values instilled in me as a young girl were now put to the test. I could not let outside influences splinter my foundation of moral and ethical strength. I lacked the ability to change what had happened to my mother, so I laid it down at God's feet, giving him full control. If it were not for the faith and the strength I had in God I could not have gotten through this dark time, turning what appeared as a curse in to a blessing.

Not only did it require moral strength during my mother's cancer treatment, but intellectual tenacity as well. I had the ability to use her cancer as a crutch for slacking in school. To use the excuse that the stress of having a mother whose survival was not guaranteed was the reason why my academic life had deflated. But I would not. If anything, her determination to survive gave me the determination to succeed in school. I continued challenging myself in honors and advance placements classes, excelling in all of them. During her treatment I got inducted in to the National Honor Society. Instead of using my mother's cancer as a pardon, I used it as a catapult for success.

Although having a mother suffer from cancer can be a frightening experience, I did not allow it to hinder my success in life. I possessed the moral and intellectual strength required to venture through such a difficult time. My experience taught me that I must never give up and never let any problem I encounter hinder my opportunities in life. Did your mom survive? If so, you could use her battle and strength as a support here as well. When accepted to Florida State University, I will continue to work hard and never allow the obstacles of this new chapter in life stop my success as a Florida State Seminole."

Good, structured paragraphs; nice transitions and a good conclusion.

Regards,
Gloria
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