ucf essay unique characteristics and qualities please help

4) what qualities or unique characteristics do you posses that will allow you to contribute to the ucf community?
Being in second grade I had an artistic talent that my teacher saw in me. As I started high school my passion for art came more alive than it has ever been. One day my mom brought me to this club house where once a month she would host senior games day. Where she had tables that hold mah-jongg (a Chinese game played with 144 tiles) games. My mom would have me first drawing and painting for the first hour just so that she could see who was interested in what I was doing. Once she saw who was interested, we would start the demonstration of ceramics, something that we all can do. As I did that I became a member of an organization that my mom was president at the time a part of. This is where my involvement with clubs had started. Once a month we would have meetings to talk about what we needed to do to help the Asian community. As I became involved they nominated me to visit some of the local high schools and colleges to recruit and assist some of the clubs we were becoming involved with. We did this to bring in young adults to intertwine with other young adults from the members families.

i need some help I'm having problems starting the begining

Good evening.

The beginning is difficult because right now it is confusing; it does not match up with your conclusion. You start off discussing art but end up talking about your community involvement. You could maybe start off with something describing how your arts are not only aesthetic, but communal as well, thus tying both aspects together.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com