"Bump in the road" for UCF

I was hoping you could look over this and tell me what you think, as well as making and necessary changes to it. Your services would be greatly appreciated.

1.If there has been some obstacle or "bump in the road," in your academic or personal life, please explain the circumstances.

It's hard to imagine what one experiences in a devastating car crash. My own experience was somewhat lacking, but only in the sense that it wasn't what I had come to know as a "near death experience." There was no "life flashing before my eyes", no crying out, no praying to God. So what did happen? As I was driving, I felt on top of the world. Leaving my meager job, I was relieved to be heading back to a familiar environment, my social realm; a realm in which I thrived and escaped from it all. While the world was caught up in its own turmoil, two strangers would cross paths and forever more become part of each other's lives.
From February through May of 2008, I had an internship thirty minutes away at Goldstein Schechter Koch. Always in rush hour, I got a glimpse of what the adult working world would be like everyday. With spring break only a day away, I was eager to leave the day at the office and return to my sanctuary of friends and a week without school. Little did I know that the drive home on April 2, 2008 would change my plans.
Driving down 46th street, a warrior roared along in his chariot. This wasn't to last forever, as the warrior would soon find out. Coming off of Taft Street a larger chariot roared. As I was going through an intersection, an SUV blindsided me and sent me spinning. I awoke thinking what had just occurred was all a terrible nightmare. I pinched myself. I was awake.
I replayed the whole thing in my head. There was no life flashing before my eyes, none of that. I was lucky to be alive and walking. I got out of my car and surveyed the damage. The whole upper left side of my car looked like a crushed soda can. The paramedics came on the scene, followed by the police. The usual questions followed; ID, registration, the works. I called my mom and dad. The big question finally came, "Who was at fault?" It wasn't mine. Thank goodness. I still felt guilty; a weight had not been lifted.
The ensuing weeks were spent frightened of a once familiar realm. I was too scared to even drive across the street to the supermarket. I had to be picked up and dropped off like a child and this dealt a huge blow to my self-esteem. I couldn't do any physical activity due to pain in my chest, and for a month I had to see a physical therapist. One day in late May my fear would be put to the test. I got a call from my father saying that his car had stalled out and he needed me to pick him up. This would be the moment which would define how I drive for the rest of my life. Did I falter? Only for a second, I'll admit it. But after that, I was once again a stranger on the road, a warrior in his chariot.
This experience has shaped my life from then on. I now know I have the capacity and ability to overcome whatever life throws at me next. I also learned to appreciate what I can do with my life as well as life itself. With these lessons learned from this experience, I am confident I can excel at the University of Central Florida.

Good morning.

Here are my suggestions:

"It is (Avoid contractions in formal academic writing.) hard to imagine what one experiences in a devastating car crash. My own experience was somewhat lacking, but only in the sense that it wasn't what I had come to know as a "near death experience." There was no "life flashing before my eyes," no crying out, no praying to God. So what did happen? As I was driving, I felt on top of the world. Leaving my meager job, I was relieved to be heading back to a familiar environment, my social realm; a realm in which I thrived and escaped from it all. While the world was caught up in its own turmoil, two strangers would cross paths and forever more become part of each others' lives.
From February through May of 2008, I had an internship thirty minutes away at Goldstein Schechter Koch. Always in rush hour, I got a glimpse of what the adult working world would be like everyday. With spring break only a day away, I was eager to leave the day at the office and return to my sanctuary of friends and a week without school. Little did I know that the drive home on April 2, 2008 would change my plans.
Driving down 46th street, a warrior roared along in his chariot. This wasn't to last forever, as the warrior would soon find out. Coming off of Taft Street a larger chariot roared. As I was going through an intersection, an SUV blindsided me and sent me spinning. I awoke thinking what had just occurred was all a terrible nightmare. I pinched myself. I was awake.
I replayed the whole thing in my head. There was no life flashing before my eyes, none of that. I was lucky to be alive and walking. I got out of my car and surveyed the damage. The whole upper left side of my car looked like a crushed soda can. The paramedics came on the scene, followed by the police. The usual questions followed; ID, registration, the works. I called my mom and dad. The big question finally came, "Who was at fault?" It wasn't mine. Thank goodness. I still felt guilty; a weight had not been lifted. (Interesting observation; why?)
The ensuing weeks were spent frightened of a once familiar realm. I was too scared to even drive across the street to the supermarket. I had to be picked up and dropped off like a child and this dealt a huge blow to my self-esteem. I couldn't do any physical activity due to pain in my chest, and for a month I had to see a physical therapist. One day in late May my fear would be put to the test. I got a call from my father saying that his car had stalled out and he needed me to pick him up. This would be the moment which would define how I drive for the rest of my life. Did I falter? Only for a second, I'll admit it. But after that, I was once again a stranger on the road, a warrior in his chariot.
This experience has shaped my life from then on. I now know I have the capacity and ability to overcome whatever life throws at me next. I also learned to appreciate what I can do with my life as well as life itself. With these lessons learned from this experience, I am confident I can excel at the University of Central Florida."

This is a good subject for this prompt, and your story fits very well. A few corrections, but overall I think this is a good essay.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Thanks bunches for the help.

You're very welcome.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com