Intern in Washington D.C under Congressman Duncan Hunter - Common App Essay

Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you

This last summer I had the unique and amazing opportunity to intern in Washington D.C under Congressman Duncan Hunter of the 52nd Congressional District of California. Here I was able to broaden my view, and open my eyes to the political world.
There were various tasks for me to do including giving tours of the capitol, taking phone calls, and organizing constituent mail. There was also free time for me to explore, listen to speeches from prominent people, and sit in on various house and senate committee meetings. I was able to hear speeches from Charlie Cook, Jim Demint, Adam Putnam, Mitch McConnell, and Colin Powell. I was also able to sit on committee hearings involving: the situation in Iran, Medicaide funding, Aviation security – cargo screening, Future of media – co-ownership, and issues with the Secret Ballot. Powell's speech was easily my favorite speech, he told a very inspiring story of his rise from City College to Secretary of State. Telling us how at ten he had absolutely no idea what was going to happen to him. All the other interns I met were college students. I was able to make friends with the other interns in my office, and I was able to learn a lot from them. They shared with me some of their experiences, and advice about colleges. There were many people who felt like they were sincerely trying to make things better, but it also felt like some of the people on the hill were very fake. Many people called into the office to get help from the office. They called about issues they were concerned about, and wanted to know how Hunter could help or his positions on different issues. Along with phone calls, we received an enormous amount of letters asking for support on different issues. A great percentage of mail were chain letters, and this shows how a group of people can rally together for a common cause and try to make a difference in our government. I found this to be an amazing representation of our democracy in action. I was able to easily see the influence that the people in the San Diego district were able to have on their representative. Throughout my stay I saw the house in session many times, and it is a very formal process.
During my internship I was able to see the dynamics of the house in session and of the committee hearings. This event has certainly increased my knowledge in politics and government, and how both of them work in dynamic situations I will with no doubt remember this opportunity forever. I had a very enjoyable and intellectually provocative experience this summer.

I feel this is very rough draft at the moment. Do you feel that this is a good and unique topic to elaborate on? and should i focus more on how it impacts me?

I appreciate any input, Thank you

Good morning.

Here are my suggestions:

"This last summer I had the unique and amazing opportunity to intern in Washington D.C under Congressman Duncan Hunter of the 52nd Congressional District of California. Here I was able to broaden my views and open my eyes to the political world.
There were various tasks for me to do including giving tours of the capitol, taking phone calls, and organizing constituent mail. There was also free time for me to explore, listen to speeches from prominent people, and sit in on various house and senate committee meetings. I was able to hear speeches from Charlie Cook, Jim Demint, Adam Putnam, Mitch McConnell, and Colin Powell. I was also able to sit in on committee hearings involving the situation in Iran, Medicaid funding, aviation security, the future of media, co-ownership, and issues with the secret ballot. Powell's speech was easily my favorite speech; he told a very inspiring story of his rise from city college to Secretary of State, and telling us how at ten he had absolutely no idea what was going to happen to him. (If you want to include this, make sure you analyze or evaluate it; otherwise, it's just a story.)
All the other interns I met were college students. I was able to make friends with the other interns in my office, and I was able to learn a lot from them. They shared with me some of their experiences, and advice about colleges. There were many people who felt like they were sincerely trying to make things better, but it also felt like some of the people on the hill were very fake. Many people called into the office to get help from the office. They called about issues they were concerned about, and wanted to know how Hunter could help or his positions on different issues. Along with phone calls, we received an enormous amount of letters asking for support on different issues. A great percentage of mail were chain letters, and this shows how a group of people can rally together for a common cause and try to make a difference in our government. I found this to be an amazing representation of our democracy in action. I was able to easily see the influence that the people in the San Diego district were able to have on their representative.
(Removed-it is out of place and there is no background or supporting information before or after it to support it.)
During my internship I was able to see the dynamics of the house in session and of the committee hearings. This event has certainly increased my knowledge in politics and government, and how both of them work in dynamic situations. I will with no doubt remember this opportunity forever. I had a very enjoyable and intellectually provocative experience this summer."

You've got a good subject idea here; this is obviously an experience that has made an impact on you. In your next draft include more analysis and evaluation of the things you went through; your explanation of seeing how the mail can help individuals come together for a cause is a great example of how you have already done this.
Keep up the hard work!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Thank you for your input and help, I appreciate it greatly

You're very welcome.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com