Please elaborate on one of your activities (150 words or less) common app

"Hey Neal bhai! Can you come here and tell me how it was when you were a camper?" The first time I heard that, a feeling of happiness and importance came over me. I've been going to Vraj Youth Camp for the past 7 years. I had been a camper all those years and always looked forward to when I could become a counselor, like all those before me, and help the younger kids understand about religion. I finally became a counselor after my junior year in high school and I could say that it was one of the best experiences of my life. Instilling my memories of camp and what I learned all throughout my years at camp into these kids made me feel like I had a responsibility to them. Spending one week away from home and teaching kids who look up to you, I could do that.

Its exactly a 150 words.

Good evening.

Grammatically and mechanically, your essay is clean. You do a good job of describing why you are involved with this activity, and your opening as well as your closing are effective.
Good job!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

thank you!

You're very welcome.

Regards,
Glroria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

It's a great essay, but the question says 'elaborate'. It tells a nice story but doesn't actually tell what you DID being a camp counselor. What were your responsibilities and how is that going to help you in college?

Great input.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com