Admission Essay question, usage of "Vires, Artes, Mores"

Hi! I'm currently working on my admisson essay for FSU( I'll post my essay later)

Prompt: For almost one hundred years, the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University. Vires signifies strength of all kinds - moral, physical, and intellectual; Artes alludes to the beauty of intellectual pursuits as exemplified in skill, craft, or art; and Mores refers to character, custom, or tradition. Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life.


Should I mention the words "Vires, Artes, Mores" in my essay? or should I just talk about my physical and intellectual strengths without mentioning ''Vires'' or the other words??

I want to write about a topic without including those latin words in the essay, but what's confusing me is the last sentence of the prompt '' Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life. ''


Please can someone explain the prompt, I know what they want but it's a little confusing still. Suggestions are welcome!

Thanks!

Good morning.

Well, which characteristics would you like to discuss? You can talk about your physical and intellectual strengths (vires), you can write about the specific area of study you want to be a part of (skill/craft), or some customs/traditions of the school you look forward to taking part in. Is there a specific skill or trade you are already versed in? What character traits have you shown in your life up to this point? How are these things important to you? I hope this helps clarify the prompt a bit.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Hi thank you for your help!! I really appreciate it.

This is my essay:

Airline pilots and Doctors have a duty in common, they both are responsible for the life's of many. They might share similar obligations, but those differ greatly. When a pilot prevents his plane from crashing he saves the life's of many, but that also includes his own. When a doctor saves a life is not because to do so saves his own life too. With this in mind, I made my decision to become a Doctor in the future. I want to be able to say I saved someones life because I wanted, not because I was trying to save mine too. For many the decision to become a doctor takes years of personal realization but for me it's always been my life's calling. I had always love caring for others, even for those who don't care for themselves.

This year in high school I'm finishing my Medical assistant course. I chose to be a medical assistant because I plan to work while attending college and I think working as a medical assistant will give me the experience and prepare me for when I get to med-school. I had the opportunity to do my internship in a hospital, and I could never explain the joy I felt when I was working with the patients. My experience was remarkable and fulfilling. I'm well aware that giving help and support to others is what inspires me the most, and I don't doubt I'll be a great doctor. I will focus not only in the patients diseases but also in the patients needs.

My driving passion to help others is not only concentrated in the medical field. I have volunteer in many homeless shelters, animal shelters and environmental organizations.The experience I gained by volunteering in this organizations have led to a kind of free form education that has helped solidify in my mind what I'm capable of accomplishing and where my interest truly lies. Sometimes I like to help just by doing simple favors to others. I can't help being a compassionate person that enjoys helping. Not everyone appreciate the things I've done for them, yet, I know I made a difference in their life's. I don't expect people to cherish what I do, instead, I just want their respect.

I plan to work all the way toward this sole goal and ignore almost everything else. Even tough I will have to make a lot of sacrifices, my desire of becoming a doctor will never vanish because the saving of one life makes the struggles worth it. Despite the sacrificing struggles and hardships in getting a medical degree, the desire to help others will always be in me. I will devote my life to the improvement of mankind.



Is it good? Any suggestions??? and does it go with what the prompt is asking?

prompt: For almost one hundred years, the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University. Vires signifies strength of all kinds - moral, physical, and intellectual; Artes alludes to the beauty of intellectual pursuits as exemplified in skill, craft, or art; and Mores refers to character, custom, or tradition. Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life.


Thank You!!!

Good morning.

Here are my suggestions:

"Airline pilots and doctors have a duty in common; they both are responsible for the lives of many. They might share similar obligations (Remove comma) but those differ greatly. When a pilot prevents his plane from crashing he saves the lives of many, including his own. When a doctor saves a life it is not because to do so saves his own life too. With this in mind, I made my decision to become a doctor in the future. I want to be able to say I saved someone's life because I wanted (This is incomplete; what did you want?) , not because I was trying to save mine too. For many the decision to become a doctor takes years of personal realization but for me it has always been my life's calling. I have always had love and caring for others, even for those who don't care for themselves.

This year in high school I am finishing my medical assistant course. I chose to be a medical assistant because I plan to work while attending college and I think working as a medical assistant will give me the experience and prepare me for when I get to medical school. I had the opportunity to do my internship in a hospital (Remove comma) and I could never explain the joy I felt when I was working with the patients. My experience was remarkable and fulfilling. I am well aware that giving help and support to others is what inspires me the most, and I do not doubt I will be a great doctor. I will focus not only in the patients diseases but also in the patients needs.

My driving passion to help others is not only concentrated in the medical field. I have volunteered in many homeless shelters, animal shelters, and environmental organizations. The experience I gained by volunteering in these organizations have led to a kind of free form education that has helped solidify in my mind what I am capable of accomplishing and where my interest truly lies. Sometimes I like to help just by doing simple favors to others. I cannot help being a compassionate person that enjoys helping. Not everyone appreciates the things I have done for them (Remove comma) yet, I know I made a difference in their lives. I do not expect people to cherish what I do; instead, I just want their respect.

I plan to work all the way toward this sole goal and ignore almost everything else. Even though I will have to make a lot of sacrifices, my desire to become a doctor will never vanish because the saving of one life makes the struggles worth it. Despite the sacrificing struggles and hardships in getting a medical degree, the desire to help others will always be in me. I will devote my life to the improvement of mankind."

This is a pretty good essay. Which virtue does this description fulfill? Make sure you explain how this relates to the virtues of the university.
Watch the improper or inappropriate use of commas and semi colons, as well as random capitalization. Also, in academic writing one should not use casual commas; instead, write out the complete work. For example, instead of "can't", write out "cannot". This is more formal and appropriate.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com