HELP!! can u review my essay. " Whay are you applying for AUC?"

I am not a native speaker, I hope u will help reviewing my essay because I find it kind of difficult to wirte in English.

The Essay:

Why are you applying for AUC?

"As Mr. Annan, I believe that to live is to choose. But to choose well, I must know who I am and what I stand for, where I want to go and why I want to get there. Because it is the ability to choose well what makes us special and determines our future, I have spent long critical time to make the right choice deciding on my future academic education. Applying for AUC is my first preferred choice when offered a scholarship. I chose AUC based on many critical reasons. Education quality, cultural diversity, location, and student life what attracts me the most to apply for AUC.

What makes AUC unique among many other universities is, as recognized, its outstanding education excellence. The highly qualified faculties at AUC know what students should really learn. Besides, AUC's Cutting-edge instructional technology offers better understanding and greater problem solving and critical thinking skills. Also, AUC's libraries and other educational labs provide a great learning environment where research is a major part of education. Based on these all facts, I believe I will be inspired by this educational brilliance to do my utmost as long as I am in the place where I can express myself; where my thoughts, my opinions, my voice counts. As a result, I will be better equipped for my career goals and will have superior and further opportunities in the future.

Another reason that forces me to choose AUC from other options is its cultural multiformity of the student body. Various nationalities of AUC's students make it very interesting to study and meet people from different spots of earth and know the different lifestyles of other cultures. This will expand my horizons and open my eyes to a new world in which I will live from different points of view. Therefore, the diverse student body of AUC makes it a great cultural bridge where different nationalities get together and understand each other.

The AUC's location in the heart of Cairo city is another attracting thrust beyond applying to this extraordinary university. I have always dreamed to be in Egypt. The state-of-the-art campus of AUC located downtown the crowded city makes studying exciting with lots of things to do. When tired of books, going out will absolutely be the best breather. Cairo is a target for many stimulation seekers like me. With numerous activities to do, and places to go, studying will be more effective and enthusing.

A key factor beyond students' success is the campus life experience in the university. One of AUC's main aims is to provide productive and creative atmosphere for students through its campus life's activities and student clubs. That makes it pretty interesting to exchange thoughts and view points, and get leadership skills. More to the point, it drives students to be more energetic, creative, and outfitted for achieving approaching future goals. Thus, life is more enjoyable in a campus that "never slows down."

To cut a long story short, my smart choice was not based on shallow reasons, but on real vital rationales. I expressed my main reasons, although there are no enough words to describe my enthusiasm to study at the American University in Cairo (AUC). Remarkable education superiority, interesting cultural variety, the attention-grapping location, and the inspiring student life is what was the most appealing automotives to choosing AUC."

Good afternoon!

Let's see what we've got here:

"As Mr. Annan, I believe that to live is to choose. In order to choose well, I must know who I am and what I stand for, where I want to go and why I want to get there. Because it is the ability to choose well what makes us special and determines our future, I have spent a long time critically deciding the right choice in regards to my future academic education. Applying for AUC (Is AUC a university? If so, instead of writing "Applying for AUC" it should be "Applying to AUC...") is my first preferred choice when offered a scholarship. I chose AUC based on many reasons; education quality, cultural diversity, location, and student life.

What makes AUC unique among many other universities is, as recognized, its outstanding education excellence. The highly qualified faculties at AUC know what students should really learn. Besides, AUC's cutting-edge instructional technology offers opportunities for better understanding, along with greater problem solving and critical thinking skills. Also, AUC's libraries and other educational labs provide a great learning environment where research is a major part of education. Based on these all facts, I believe I will be inspired by this educational brilliance to do my best as long as I am in the place where I can express myself; where my thoughts, my opinions, and my voice count. As a result, I will be better equipped for my career goals and will have superior and further opportunities in the future.

Another reason that forces me to choose AUC from other options is the cultural blend of the student body. The various nationalities of AUC's students make it very interesting to study and meet people from different spots of earth and know the different lifestyles of other cultures. This will expand my horizons and open my eyes to a new world in which I will live, from different points of view. Therefore, the diverse student body of AUC makes it a great cultural bridge where different nationalities get together and understand each other.

The AUC's location in the heart of Cairo city is another attraction to apply to this extraordinary university. I have always dreamed of being in Egypt. AUC's state-of-the-art campus located in the downtown crowded city makes studying exciting with lots of things to do. When tired of books, going out will absolutely be the best breather. Cairo is a target for many stimulation seekers like me. With numerous activities to do and places to go, studying will be more effective and enthusiastic .

A key factor beyond students' success is the campus life experience in the university. One of AUC's main aims is to provide a productive and creative atmosphere for students through its campus life's activities and student clubs. That makes it pretty interesting to exchange thoughts and view points, and get leadership skills. More to the point, it drives students to be more energetic, creative, and outfitted for achieving approaching future goals. Thus, life is more enjoyable in a campus that "never slows down".

My decision to apply to AUC was not based on shallow reasons, but on real vital rationales. Although there are not enough words to describe my desire to study at the American University in Cairo, a desire to study somewhere that offers remarkable education superiority, interesting cultural variety, anattention-grabbing location, and the inspiring student life are my motives for choosing AUC."

Try using the full title of the university as much as possible, and the abbreviation only minimally; this increases the formality of your essay, showing your respect for the university. You do a good job describing the reasons you want to attend the campus, and in great detail. Spend a little time explaining what area of study you intend on attending, and why the university fulfills your specific academic goals; this will ensure those reading your essay that you are a good fit for the school, and vice versa.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com