Opinion to defend, in conflict with the majority - admission essay

"thanks" cannot express my gratitude thoroughly...

Tell us about an opinion that you have had to defend or an incident in your life which placed you in conflict with the beliefs of a majority of people and explain how this affected your value system.

I have been considered "successful" all through my academic life for my excellent performance in scholastic tests and extracurricular activities. And now, I'm expected to continue to excel in Tsinghua University and to study abroad after graduation.
But one day, I suddenly realized that I had strived to become "perfect" only in others' eyes. Intoxicated in countless praise, I had been following the social expectation for all my life. Deeply, I began to ask myself whether to continue to follow the "well-designed" road or not.
After thorough analysis, the idea to transfer to MIT popped out. Not wanting simply to simulate others, I began to rebel the "expected pattern" of my life...
"Aren't you crazy?" most of friends reflected instantaneously when I told them that I'm applying for transfer. They warned me that I was risking my education in Tsinghua University for there was a danger that I might fail on both sides with the heavy burden of tests.
"Don't be so impatient, young man. You may enjoy a better chance to be admitted by MIT after graduation here. Chinese fundamental education is the best in the world and your rashness may destroy your academic career." Whenever I asked advice from the respected professors, I almost got the same answer.
Facing the opponent majority, I still stuck to my initial decision because I found their assumptions not suitable for me.
My aim is to serve the people, and thus make a better society. Under the trend of globalization, I need to widen my view to build up my value system to be critical and open. And most people may form their own criteria during college and consequently will have greater difficulties to adapt to a new culture. Thus the experience in MIT may be vital to me to become in harmony over the great cultural chasm in he future.
Also, I felt myself confined by the traditional Chinese education which leaves little space for independent study. As my Native American professor described, counselors here still carefully fed the knowledge to the "babies in the cradles".
Intimidated by the seemingly insurmountable transfer process, most freshmen concluded that chances may be better after graduation as told. And the professors were talking about the usual "safe" road, which most pioneers traveled by.
Out of instinct, most of us are afraid of changing the present situation and we hope to acquire the sense of safety by following others without independent thinking.
Growing up in constant support, I was used to considering others' remarks before action. Through the conflict, I suffered but became more steadfast about life aim. I had a deeper understanding about Alghieri Dante's words"Follow your own course, and let people talk".
Unlike Mathematics, reality refuses certain formulae to succeed. And the only thing to do is to follow the inner decision after considerate reasoning. Life is not all about success, but the taste of various kinds of chocolate. Defeat won't destroy me but the withdrawal out of fear will make me regret.

Greetings!

This is a very good essay! Here are some editing tips for you:

Not wanting simply to simulate others, I began to rebel against the "expected pattern" of my life...
"Are you crazy?" most of my friends responded instantaneously when I told them that I'm applying for a transfer.

Whenever I asked advice from the respected professors, I got almost the same answer.

in harmony over the great cultural chasm in the future.

Through the conflict, I suffered but became more steadfast about my life's aim.

Best of luck!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com

Hey, there! Could you tell me your email address? I'm from HK... Junior year in high school and i know Tsinghua University... a nice place :p
And something about your essay... There's no doubt that you did a good job! No grammatical mistakes and your vocabulary is just fine >.< but what i wanna talk about is i personally think you should focus on more on your personal thinking and how you felt when you finally make the decision... Eeee, the materials you use in the essay seems to be kinda clichez ( or platitude )... just from my point of view. Since my brother was admitted into Harvard 3 years ago, i've read many essays and right now i'm also doing the apply work myself...

Best of luck >.<

Hi

Indeed, I felt a little sick about it.
Before writing, I had lots of ideas and details, but when setting it down to paper I felt weak and tired.

Glad to have a chat with you:)

weiddoonngglai@tom.com

Greetings!

Thanks for your input, susandaine! You make a valid point. "My aim is to serve the people, and thus make a better society" might be a bit vague and could be considered clichéd. However, I do think that eminemya did a good job of answering the part that asks "how this affected your value system."

Good luck to both of you!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com