person who has had a significant influence on me

Hello, I have just finished this essay for my application. I have proofread many times, but I hope you will still proofread it for me, since English is not my first language. If there is any mistake in word use, grammar... please let me know. Thank you very much.

As soon as I read the topic of a person who has had a significant influence on me, the image of my grandma's smiling face arose in my mind. The kind of high school Biology teacher who fondly cared for her students, the kind of grandma who never refused to spend time with her 11 "evil grandchildren", the kind of town volunteer group's member who always demonstrated great zeal for every campaign and every project without requiring anything in return, my grandma taught me more than did anyone else, not about mathematics, chemistry, physics or any academic subjects, but about life lessons. Her method of educating me as well as her disinterested enthusiasm for benefiting the community has shaped most of my personality and my passions. I have developed my own tools to live the life of an authentic human being, the life engulfed with endless excitement for endless learning process and heartfelt eagerness to love and to receive love from everyone.

If someone asks me who instilled the enthusiasm for knowledge into me, I will proudly response: "my grandmother". I vividly remember summer mornings walking with her in the rubber forest nearby our home since my 2nd grade. Quite reluctant in the first walks, I quickly came to love the beauty carpet of green grass dotted with yellow wild flowers, of dew drops sparkling on emerald rubber leaves and of birds competing their voices in the forest. As we walked in the small path through the forest, my mind flowed in the stream of curious questions such as "Why are the leaves green? What makes the rubber leaves change color in springtime? How do the birds make sound?" Stimulatingly, my grandmother almost never gave me the answers to those questions, but instead asked me "Can you find the answer yourself?" Consequently, our daily journeys in the forest usually ended with the start of my exploration to find answers in the Encyclopedia for Kids. With her knowledge and experiences as a teacher, my grandmother always sat beside me, wholeheartedly helped me with vocabularies and terminologies, challenges of all kinds. Not always did I find the answer easily, but her heartening attitude encouraged me to continue, and more importantly, taught me patience. However, the Encyclopedia could not answer every question I had. When I was tired of all and going to give up, my grandmother would say: "Why don't you try to find the answer in a book in the library. If you put enough effort in what you are doing, the answer will certainly appear to you." Invigorated, I would run to the library and ask for a suitable book. The library almost never disappointed me. More than an answer, I came to value the advantage of all current resources at that time. My joy when my grandmother satisfactorily nodded after I finally found the right answer never diminished, but augmented my desire to learn more. Five summers and countless walks in that forest with my grandmother, my enthusiasm for knowledge substantially grew, along with my habit and skills of independently working developed at the same time.

While I treasure the appreciation of learning my grandmother has infused me, my life has been equally transformed by her work for charity. As a 6th grader, I often accompanied my grandmother to the Phumy Town Nunnery's Orphanage. Many children here were the indirect victims of Agent Orange used by American force during the Vietnam War. Due to genetic mutations, some did not have hands or feet; some possessed scary-shaped body parts; others suffered from mental problems! Scared at first, my mind changed from fearing them to wishing to help them alleviate their complex about their situations and integrate more into the society, as grandmother explained to me why they were born with such abnormalities and showed me her tenderhearted friendliness to them. While she with the nuns cooked meals, I helped the older volunteers assist the children with their learning. The biological knowledge I had been gaining from journeys in the rubber forest now made my teaching more enthralling. I emotionally recall the children's excited faces when I told them why the rubber leaves turned red in spring. Their smiles made me happy, for I understood those smiles prang from genuine desire and pleasure to know something new. But I did not only teach the children; I also learned from them. Their brave will to live and to learn under such terrible circumstances taught me to view the world optimistically. I loved them! They loved me! We became friends with sincere love for each other. At this orphanage, I found my second family. What I had been giving and receiving here urged me to devote myself as a vigorous leader of Volunteer Society at Vungtau High School. Far more meaningfully, they inspired me to long for becoming a biochemist so that I will be able to acquire the knowledge and the opportunities to contribute to the resolving Agent Orange issue in my fatherland.

Sorry, this is the conclusion:

I cannot imagine what kind of person I would be like if I did not have my grandmother as my life guide. What she has ever done has enlightened the life path I will travel on – the life path of a true human being - and equipped me with the tools essential – passion for learning and love to humanity. Whatever challenges I have to face, however onerous they are, I will welcome them with confidence, for I know my grandmother's image will be immortal in my mind.

Greetings!

You have written a wonderful essay! I have just a few editing suggestions for you:

As soon as I read that the topic was "a person who has had a significant influence on me," the image of my grandma's smiling face arose in my mind. - When using American English, put commas and periods inside quotations marks.

I have developed my own tools to live the life of an authentic human being, a life engulfed with endless excitement for the learning process and heartfelt eagerness to love and to receive love from everyone.

If someone asks me who instilled the enthusiasm for knowledge in me, I will proudly respond: "my grandmother." I vividly remember summer mornings walking with her in the rubber forest nearby our home [I'd delete "since my 2nd grade" as it is not grammatical and making it so would be wordy]. Quite reluctant in the first walks, I quickly came to love the beautiful carpet of green grass dotted with yellow wild flowers, of dew drops sparkling on emerald rubber leaves and of birds competing their voices in the forest.

[Delete "Stimulatingly"; it sounds awkward], my grandmother almost never gave me the answers to those questions, but instead asked me "Can you find the answer yourself?"

During five summers and countless walks in that forest with my grandmother, my enthusiasm for knowledge substantially grew, along with my study habits and independent working skills.

While I treasure the appreciation of learning my grandmother has infused in me, my life has been equally transformed by her work for charity.

Many children here were the indirect victims of Agent Orange used by American forces during the Vietnam War.

While she and the nuns cooked meals, I helped the older volunteers assist the children with their learning.

Their smiles made me happy, for I understood those smiles sprang from genuine desire and pleasure to know something new.

Far more meaningfully, they inspired me to become a biochemist so that I will be able to acquire the knowledge and the opportunities to contribute to resolving the Agent Orange issue in my fatherland.

I cannot imagine what kind of person I would be [delete "like"] if I did not have my grandmother as my life guide. The things she has done for me have enlightened the life path I will travel on – the life path of a true human being - and equipped me with the essential tools of passion for learning and love for humanity.

Best of luck in your studies!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com