thesis statement and introductry paragraph

i need a check in my introductry paragraph and my thesis statement. i have to write an expository essay on the character of the pardoner is canterburry tales.

"Chaucer is very descriptive when he explains the pardoner's character. chaucer describes the pardoner as a person who abuses his position as a member of clergy by manupalating common man, whose work ethics revolve around his greedy motives, and whose gross appearance highly reflects on his characters."

Greetings!

I think you're off to a reasonably good start with your thesis statement, but I do have some suggestions.

"Chaucer is very descriptive when he explains the pardoner's character. - Words like "very" do the opposite of what they intend to do: they weaken your writing, rather than strengthen it. You could, instead, say something like "Chaucer's detailed description provides insight into the pardoner's character."

Chaucer describes the pardoner as a person who abuses his position as a member of the clergy by manipulating common man, whose work ethics revolve around his greedy motives, and whose gross appearance highly reflects on his characters." - the last phrase, which I highlighted in bold, does not really make sense as written. I think you meant to say "whose grotesque appearance is reflective of his bad character."

I hope this helps!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com

ok! here comes my introductry paragraph and my 1st body paragraphs. could you please guide me to where am i going wrong. reminder this is an expository essay writing and my topic is "character analysis the pardoner.

Chaucer's detailed description provides insight into the pardoner's character. Chaucer describes the pardoner as a peroson who abuses his position as a member of the clergy by manipulating common man, whose work ethics revolve around his greedy motives, and whose eerie appearance is reflective of his negative character.
"Now look; I have a mitten here, a glove, whoever wears this mitten on his hand will multiply his grain". (p242) These are the kinds of words the pardoner uses to trick his listeners and gains their confidence. He fools people into thinking he is getting rid of all their sins by displaying fancy religious letters and seals, and occasionally speaking in Latin phrases.
In fact he is abusing his power by selling pardons rather than just giving it to people. In exchange for pardons he is takes their money and other valuable goods. Once he convinces the listeners, he takes advantage of the poor, naive people and invites them to make offerings to be pardoned.

Greetings!

I think you're doing well; I have just a few suggestions.

Here's a typo: Chaucer describes the pardoner as a peroson [person]

In fact, [add comma] he is abusing his power by selling pardons rather than just giving them [not "it"] to people.

In exchange for pardons he [delete "is"] takes their money and other valuable goods.

Once he convinces the listeners, he takes advantage of the poor, naive people and invites them to make offerings to be pardoned. - It seems to me that you have just said the same exact thing three different ways in the three foregoing sentences. You'll need to dig a little deeper into his character, so as not to repeat yourself.

I hope this helps!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com

Hi Sarah,

I recieved a 50 out of 100 on my introductry paragraph. my teacher keeps saying that my introduction is not correct. i can still make a 70 if i make correction but i dont know what to do. could you please help me. this is what i wrote for the introduction and thesis statement.

Goeffery Chaucer's detailed discription provides insight into the pardoner's character. Through Chaucer's characterization, the pardoner was introduced as a clergy who pardoned people's sins for a ransom to satisfy his own personal pleasures and indulgences. In the Canterburry Tales, Chaucer describes the Pardoner as a greedy person who misuses his position as a member of the clergy to manipulate common man. Chaucer criticizes pardoner whose eerie appearance is reflective of his work ethics which revolves around greed.

Greetings!

I think you may have gone a little offtrack when you started talking about his "work ethics." The most important thing that you have failed to mention is the irony inherent in the character of the Pardoner. He is a hypocrite, who preaches against the very corruption, greed and extortion he practices. Nonetheless, by telling the tale of his own corruption, the Pardoner is able to teach others not to follow his example. Through the character of the Pardoner, Chaucer is able to subtly criticize the corrupt practices of the Catholic Church in his writing (which could be a dangerous thing to do, if done too directly), while endorsing the underlying religious principles for which the Church stood.

See if you can incorporate some of those ideas and get those additional points!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com