could u check my thesis; is it strong enough?

Greetings!

A thesis statement should be more than a summary of your topic. Generally, a thesis statement takes a position on a subject that can be argued on either side. It is normally narrower than the very broad statement you made. It helps if your thesis statement presents an original idea that is persuasive.

Notice how adding specific details makes an opening more interesting than a a generic statement that could describe just any place:

"Despite the fragile environment, unrelenting mosquitoes and unpredictable weather,
the fascinating rock formations of Terelj make it the most worthwhile tourist destination in Mongolia."

Even though it's not a very controversial subject, one could take the opposite position and argue that Terelj is not the most worthwhile tourist destination -- so that statement does take a position which the rest of the paper could support.

I hope this helps!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com

okuna Member Posts: 9 Joined: Jan 24, 07 Ref.#: 1460	Feb 20, 07, 06:49pm ¦ #1 "'Terelj has a many great opportunities and such a beautiful place.""" Is it can be strong thesis?

EF_Team2 Moderator Posts: 2319 Joined: Mar 1, 06 Ref.#: 1467	Feb 21, 07, 01:52am ¦ #2 Greetings! A thesis statement should be more than a summary of your topic. Generally, a thesis statement takes a position on a subject that can be argued on either side. It is normally narrower than the very broad statement you made. It helps if your thesis statement presents an original idea that is persuasive. Notice how adding specific details makes an opening more interesting than a a generic statement that could describe just any place: "Despite the fragile environment, unrelenting mosquitoes and unpredictable weather, the fascinating rock formations of Terelj make it the most worthwhile tourist destination in Mongolia." Even though it's not a very controversial subject, one could take the opposite position and argue that Terelj is not the most worthwhile tourist destination -- so that statement does take a position which the rest of the paper could support. I hope this helps! Thanks, Sarah, EssayForum.com

aznpoo Member Posts: 29 Joined: Feb 17, 07 Ref.#: 1472	Edited by: aznpoo Feb 21, 07, 04:07am ¦ #3 I don't even get what your thesis is about. No, it is not a strong thesis. A thesis is what you stand for, your opinion. For example. "Through going to school everyday, we will receive a great career". Now prove this statement through ur body paragraphs. "Terelj holds many jobs opportunities and a great tourist attraction" ~ even this is not a strong thesis.

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