Is my thesis about MySpace strong enough?

Myspace is about getting more people to get a myspace and thats better for the people that produced the social networking website. But, more in the sense of spending more time, having more friends, and having more things on your page is not better.

Greetings!

I can help you tweak your thesis a little. However, I'm not really sure what you meant by the second sentence. I'm not sure how having more friends is a bad thing...?

If I were writing it, I might say "Myspace is about getting more people to create a Myspace page, and that is a good thing for the creators of the social networking site. However, there are disadvantages to the users of the site which may not be evident: putting too much information on your Myspace page can be dangerous."

I hope this helps!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com