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Essay Review - could a few people review my essay and make sure it's good enough to send off

1 - I really love your voice; you seem like a very likable person!! :-) Your experiences tie back to your aspirations, which...

Undergraduateenifenifatimakhan - 08:16pm
UC Prompt #1: Neuroscience

2 - Wow, thank you so much for your feedback!! I was wondering if my reference to my internship was well written/descriptive enough?...

Undergraduatefatimakhanfatimakhan - 07:37pm
I-E-L-T-S competition and co-operate

NEW - Topic: some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged.Others believe that children who are taught to...

Undergraduatejyx940709 -
If we want to save the future of the planet,we will have to drastically change our life. Do you agre

2 - Thanks,I'll try to write it shorter)

Writing FeedbackSaint PatienceSaint Patience - 07:25pm
'The hideous alarm sound woke me up' - Got Social Anxiety? UC personal statement 2

3 - Thank you Louisa. I will fix the first personal statement and repost it when I am done. If you...

Undergraduateyoyoproteinyoyoprotein - 07:22pm
"Studying history is important to me because history is all-encompassing" Cornell Essay help

3 - Daniel, you mentioned science, continual history and advancement in technology as a part of the ever evolving world of human history....

Undergraduatedhizzyvangiespen - 06:34pm
Rainbow nation child - Diversity Essay

8 - I know that you did not mean to offend anyone which is why I warned you about it and advised you...

Graduatestayce1988vangiespen - 06:29pm
I was like every child in my community

NEW - Vangiespen, thanks for all your feedback on my essays. Please I will like to know your view about this essays, as...
Spoils of Hard Work - Pitzer Supplement

NEW - Prompt: Reflecting on your involvement throughout high school or within the community, how have you engaged with one or more of...

Undergraduategman1997 -
'The world is changing day by day gradually' - essay about consumerism

1 - Great paper. If you proofread and correct some punctuation, a few of the sentences would read better, making it easier...

Writing FeedbackFavelaniBayHead - 02:13pm
I come from a world of fantasy - The World that inspired me is the Anime World.

4 - Thanks Louisa! I revised my essay and added in more details describing my developing interest in engineering and robotics....

Undergraduateachen0688achen0688 - 01:15pm
"You're a 7th grader now. You need to be responsible for your schoolwork" "Why Brown?" essay

6 - This is after I've cut it down to 200 words and applied your advice. Problem is that I had to cut...

Undergraduatedhizzydhizzy - 01:09pm
People in my hometown always associate "project" and "project people" with hope of a better change

1 - Thao, when writing a statement of purpose, it is always in your best interest to mention as little as possible about...

GraduateThao Nguyenvangiespen - 12:20pm
My classmate Chen with language barrier, due to the brain damage, caused by car accident

1 - Dominic, you unfortunately missed the point of the prompt. You were not supposed to talk about the experience of another person...

Undergraduatedominic_jiangvangiespen - 12:03pm
Meeting James Watson, best day of your life. VTech Supplement

3 - I edited the paper by deleting some sentences and rewording a few as well. This is now down to 223 words....

Undergraduatetoughguyvangiespen - 11:51am
USC Incoming Freshman Supplements -- Both General and Viterbi School of Engineering Essays

4 - I think the passage that talks about your academic interest is too vague. You need to focus more on your interest...

UndergraduateArchlefirthdominic_jiang - 11:39am
Process of making maple syrup... - IELTS WRITING TASK 1

4 - I tried uploading a picture but wasn't successful. Can you help me with the overview please Eddies.

Writing FeedbackSid1316Sid1316 - 11:02am
As a kid I was curious to know the source of sound from that radio - statement of purpose for Msc

2 - " All the courses were taught in English" -- this sentence is unnecessary and not relevant to the context of the...

Graduatehim827Archlefirth - 10:27am
Introductory Paragraph about causes of HIV in children

3 - Tamara, "indicate" means to let people know, to inform them about certain things by pointing out the details of information. So...

Writing Feedbackfirstywritesvangiespen - 08:51am
Samsae-third generation Korean immigrant-born in Japan - learned of my Korean and Japanese heritage

9 - I was just making some suggestions to help you out :-) I would prefer that you develop your own essay if...

Undergraduatekitakanamevangiespen - 07:29am
Descriptive writing; unexpected events, unpredictable situations and unforgettable moments in life

1 - Kanyepi, before I comment on the descriptive essay, may I know what your are being asked to describe in particular? I...

Writing FeedbackRosettevangiespen - 06:24am
UC essay: How my world has shaped me, from denial to embrace

1 - Lei, right now this essay sounds more like a "central identity" paper than a "world shaped my traits essay". The reason...

Undergraduatesarantsatsrvangiespen - 06:06am
Nowadays, technology and social media is the fourth need of people after food, shelter and clothes

1 - Nisarg, you need to review the content of your essay. While you wrote a very good essay, it does not fully...

Writing Feedbacksaketnisargvangiespen - 05:57am
Obviously, direct communication makes conversations more clear and smooth

1 - Laurita, what is the exact prompt that you are trying to answer here? It is marked as a scholarship essay but...

ScholarshipLauraPvangiespen - 05:48am
People around me always consider me as a bird of a different feather. UC Prompt 1

4 - You can use this essay for that prompt Li-Wei. It pretty much answers all of the prompt requirements about how you...

Undergraduatealan1213vangiespen - 05:38am
"My Life Incubator: Target" - Common App Essay Prompt 4

5 - I would be more than happy to make suggestions regarding the second prompt. It would be best though that I wait...

Undergraduatelantaylor13vangiespen - 04:37am
Lupus and its Lifestyle - Research Paper

4 - Remember that the research paper will run between 8-10 pages, will integrate sources from a diverse array of resources using MLA...

Research Papersmjbyrdmjbyrd - 01:03am
I never saw myself as an average child - Elon Scholarship Essay

1 - Lauren, this is a very effective essay. You closely adhere to the prompt and explain how Stephen Hawking and your grandmother...

Undergraduatevetementuvangiespen - 12:09am
About the situation of the extinct languages - [IELTS task2]:

4 - I know that you try to use comparison language here. However, you failed to present what the prompt is asking...

Writing FeedbackyoshieBeddies - Yesterday
''work is an anti node for poverty'' - My mother a supportive figure

5 - I can understand the overall message and tone of your essay, but as other posters have said: there are a lot...

UndergraduateModewaplantaylor13 - Yesterday
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