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Why Yale - Unique student initiatives/ Yale short questions

1 - Your language and prose definitely shows high command of the English language, which Yale would just love! I think 2b...

Undergraduatesampunk9494fayyzeus - 10:53pm
Finding my future in my name. My self-fulfilling prophecy. // Common App

NEW - Hey guys, I would really appreciate it if anyone can read my common app essay and tell me if it makes...

Undergraduatefayyzeus -
Mayo anecdote explaining a challenging situation

3 - Thank you so much for your feedback! I have made the necessary adjustments and was wondering if there is anyway I...

Undergraduatemirahetamiraheta - 10:15pm
College essay for VCU talking about what transitioned me from childhood to adulthood

1 - This is not really a defining event in the context of the prompt. I understand that winning the contest is a...

Undergraduatebriannaasalwaysvangiespen - 09:39pm
Taking a risk and moving to Michigan

1 - OK. The first rule of application essay writing is, never repeat information about the university that they already know. Your b...

Writing FeedbackDethaiyavangiespen - 09:32pm
explain why you believe that you should be awarded this scholarship

1 - What is the foremost reason that you believe you deserve this scholarship? You need to highlight an aspect of yourself either...

Scholarshipsmunoz23vangiespen - 09:21pm
"...what else makes you unique and colorful?" William and Mary Essay

3 - really just the very first paragraph about "the dreaded college essay" i like "but that's too dramatic, and dramatic is...

Undergraduatedhizzyacrogirl5 - 09:19pm
Future Jumbo / "Let your life speak" / What makes you happy? - Tufts Supplement Essays

5 - 1st essay: I would suggest deleting the first sentence and adopting a more straightforward style to this prompt since the...

Undergraduateleiya0920sampunk9494 - 09:07pm
Children can lead a better life if they gain the ability of both competition and cooperation

2 - Thank you very much, SHanafi. It's so nice of you. I think it's better than before and I'll follow your suggestions!...

Writing Feedbacktcyytcyy - 08:50pm
An odd group of friends- Brown University Supplement Essay

6 - Hi leiya This is a very enjoyable essay and I really admire your writing style. I think you answered the...

Undergraduateleiya0920sampunk9494 - 08:42pm
My Math Blues. Math and I do not get along.

2 - I think you should change the line "Till this day, I still have issues in my advance math class: Calculus." to...

ScholarshipZaria15smunoz23 - 08:08pm
Why Gun Rights Are a Huge Problem In Society

2 - I made some changes to this essay below. Same prompt. Let me know what y'all think. Thanks An issue that...

Undergraduatelkj6778lkj6778 - 08:04pm
"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."

3 - Anon I think you should provide examples that back up your ideas such as, What are your culture traditions and literature...

Scholarshipnovelsnerd98smunoz23 - 07:59pm
Some drastic changes in my life: moving from Mexico to North Carolina, preparing for a college

2 - Thank You for the help

Scholarshipsmunoz23smunoz23 - 07:51pm
'serious familial event that occurred in my life' - I am writing a "what I overcame" essay.

4 - Here is my rough draft of the essay. I came to the United States from a country called Bangladesh...

UndergraduateMastodon97Mastodon97 - 07:46pm
"It's rare for someone so young to contract shingles, but it's still possible" - I stuck in there...

9 - That's what I was afraid of... How would I twist either of these two essays to better fit a central identity...

UndergraduateFullofSeoulFullofSeoul - 07:27pm
NYU Supplemental - I'm lost without gymnastics

2 - No corrections to the 1st paragraph, I pretty much see your connection between gymnastics and NYU. Use online thesauruses like m-w...

Undergraduateacrogirl5lkj6778 - 07:26pm
Extra-curricular activity of being a listener and petition writer - inspirational life experience

6 - Thank you. I would appreciate it if you could proofread the essay for grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures. I have...

Undergraduatevoocatchervoocatcher - 07:22pm
New York bustles with millions of lives, each contributing to the city's own little universe

5 - It's very good, I would just give a little more about what you can offer NYU. Telling stories is great, but...

Undergraduatekevpangacrogirl5 - 07:17pm
Why Brandeis University Essay----"The road that lead me to Brandeis University", Originally

3 - Thank you for your advice! There's a word limited of 250 words and I might need to trim the description of...

UndergraduateTONYTIAN9TONYTIAN9 - 07:15pm
"He who stays near vermilion gets stained red; he who stays near ink gets stained black" - My Story

4 - I got a little lost in your essay, you jump a little too fast and tend to repeat things. First...

UndergraduateSakifarhanacrogirl5 - 07:12pm
Cultural shock in Dubai; teach myself a new skill or concept

7 - Dear Vangiespen, I really appreciate for your help. Is there any grammar errors that I should correct in my essay?...

Undergraduatenicolezmh1997nicolezmh1997 - 07:02pm
Georgia Tech Supplement: Why am I interested

2 - Wow! You actually managed to respond quite clearly, concisely, and accurately to the prompt in a mere 150 words. I think...

Undergraduatesmm816vangiespen - 06:55pm
I have searched for schools with programs which reflect some of my personal experiences. I found you

6 - This is definitely better crafted and more focused than your previous efforts. Now, we just need to make the connection with...

Undergraduatertan05vangiespen - 06:51pm
The Starry Night and city life NYU supplement essay

1 - This is a highly poetic and visual idea of what NYU has to offer you and what you have to offer...

Writing Feedbackmelissaevangiespen - 06:48pm
Intramurals. Amateur Astronomers Association. Theater. The question is, what can't NYU offer me?

2 - Your essay sounds more like the brochure for the university than a well thought out response essay. Here is what I...

UndergraduateSakifarhanvangiespen - 06:41pm
Why I Choose Georgia Tech to study chemical Engineering essay

7 - This is a very good start for a revision. I would omit the internet based search for a university though. It...

Graduatemyngoc311vangiespen - 06:37pm
Meat: Mystery and History - Pomona College Supplemental Essay

3 - I think you have written a very good essay about a subject close to your heart. However, since it covers 2...

Writing FeedbackMaxbradleyvangiespen - 06:22pm
"Out of Many, One People" is the motto of Jamaica, and my family is a perfect example - Seaford Town

2 - Thank you very much for the advice. What paragraph would you say has this problem?

UndergraduateKristoriaKristoria - 06:19pm
Contributing to Macalester community, personally and academically

6 - Okay. This is a much better version that only needs some sentence structure corrections. I'll point those out for you now....

Undergraduatesampunk9494vangiespen - 06:14pm
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